Taking care of hosiery

Dear Sex Educator,

Can I do anything to keep my favorite hosiery in good shape?

Yes, actually, there are things you can do to keep your hosiery perky.

  1. Always hand-wash hosiery in a smooth sink, with warm water and just a touch of clothes detergent liquid. Swish it in the sink, then rinse with cold water. Do not use Woolite to clean your delicate hosiery!
  2. Always hang hosiery to dry, and don’t even let it see a heater or dryer!
  3. Remember that a few hanging stockings in the bath are sexy turn-ons for some people. However, a room full of wet strappy things is simply bad Feng Shui, so don’t let a good thing get out of hand.
  4. I like to strip off my stockings right when I walk in the door. They go into the sink, I go into the shower. When I’m done sudsing, I give ’em a little swish, rinse them, and hang them up right away. You’ll thank me later when you want that color stocking clean.
  5. Remember to hang them on something that won’t transfer rust, or that could snag the material – a smooth plastic hanger is best.
  6. Store dry hosiery in the original box/envelope in your drawer. That way you’ll know what you’re reaching for, and they won’t get knotted up or destroyed by your furniture. Other people like to keep each pair separated with little breathable bags.
  7. If you have hosiery with wide lace tops, consider rolling the stockings up, rather than just scrunching them in the bag, to keep the top even.
  8. People who live with pets, kids, or rough interior surfaces might consider wearing a light pair of overpants on the way home from work. This sounds stupid right until you realize how much your hosiery bill is from all the snags.
  9. Finally, buy higher-quality hosiery from the beginning, and you’ll get more forgiveness in how long they last. We have found that higher nylon content and/or a “denier” thickness of 15 or more will give longer-lasting results. Pure silk-knit stockings are much more durable, and you will pay for that right up front. We think they’re definitely worth the cost.

The Sex Educator