Dear Sex Educator,
I’ve been married for 13 years. My wife and I always argue about everything, and the last time we argued she said she was going to spank me. I thought she was joking, but it seams she is serious about it. She showed me a site on the net called “disciplinarily wife’s club”. I looked at it and and laughed and laughed – it was so funny, but apparently they’re serious about it and so is my wife. We’re in our 50s – aren’t we too old for this sort of thing? I haven’t submitted to this fantasy of her yet – I haven’t been spanked since I was a kid. Even if I did submit to the fantasy, would it do any good? I think it’s more of a sexual thing. Maybe she could get off on it, but I don’t see how I would. She keeps wanting me to submit to it. I told her to give me a week and I’d see if I would or not.
Can you give me any advice on this? I don’t want to be a coward, but I don’t want to be made a fool of, either.
Believe it or not, this is a very common fantasy – both the part about spanking and the part about being spanked. Some people find both the control and the power to be very erotic. I am guessing that your wife is discovering that she finds the thought of you submitting to her for a spanking to be a powerfully erotic notion. The question is whether you find the idea of submission exciting, and whether the notion of becoming a “bad boy” who needs to be punished turns you on as much as it turns her on.
Yes, it’s awkward if you’re not both interested in the same scenario. However, if the idea is just a bit exciting to you, then it might be worth a try. If it’s really not a turn-on for you, you should consider just talking her through the fantasy (have her imagine that you are over her knee being spanked) during other kinds of sex play that you enjoy. That might allow her to enjoy the arousal of her fantasy without having to live it.
Good luck in your decision, and remember – you can always try something and then decide if you do or don’t like it.
The Sex Educator