My partner says I'm too wet

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Dear Sex Counselor,

My partner tells me that I get too wet for him to feel enough sensation during intercourse. How can we resolve this issue?


This is a problem for some men and women, particularly those who are used to quite a bit of friction during stimulation. Here are a couple of things you can do that might help.

  1. Take a couple of decongestants before intercourse - something like Sudafed will dry up some of your secretions a bit and make you a bit stickier for him. You can also try a non-drowsy antihistamine and see if that works.
  2. Get a sea silk sponge from a natural food store or pharmacy and insert it before you begin your sex play, to absorb some of your moisture.
  3. Have a soft cloth available and have him wipe off his penis periodically if he is not feeling enough sensation because of the moisture. Or he can use the cloth on you, gently stroking your labia and covering a finger or two with the cloth and inserting it into your vagina.
  4. Have him try using a cock ring to intensify his sensitivity. Just a basic stretchy one will work well for him.
  5. Have him wear a condom with sensation nubs on the inside of it to enhance his stimulation and sensation. Don’t have him add extra lubricant to the inside, but if you need a bit more lubrication, you can add some to the outside and it won’t affect him.

Keep in mind that less moisture = more friction, which can be a good thing or a bad thing. While more friction can add to more sensation for both of you, it can also lead to irritation and possibly tearing of your vaginal skin, too. If you find yourself sore or irritated after intercourse using the above moisture-reducing methods, discontinue them and instead try the cock ring or sensation condom method (above) instead.

Also, if you’re using a condom during intercourse, remember that more friction means a greater chance of condom breakage. Be careful out there! The key is to have enough lubrication to avoid irritation and condom breakage, but not so much that sensation is reduced for either of you.

I hope these tips lead to more pleasure for both of you!

The Sex Counselor