A close friend of mine has been dating a wonderful guy for a few months.  She likes him and they get along well everywhere except in bed.  He has a very small penis - as in micropenis small - and she both doesn't know how to talk to him about it and doesn't know what to do even if she could.  She's asked my help in finding resources on:

- how to approach him about it

- tips and tricks to make things work better

- what types of toys are available and how to incorporate them


I would start by saying that it may be best for her not to "approach him about it", rather, to talk with him about sex in general - what he enjoys, what she enjoys (in as broad a sexual sense as possible, without focusing on intercourse as the only way to enjoy intimate sex play) and discussing ways they both might enjoy exploring the world of adult playthings as a way to enjoy a diverse sex life together. Rather than focusing on his penis size, which is not something he can control, it would be better to talk about all the different things they can do together (oral sex, manual stimulation, using toys on her and on him, etc) that they would both enjoy deeply. If she is willing to consider that sex can be varied and playful and either not include intercourse, or only include intercourse as a way to get closer together and stimulate him to orgasm, with other activities that help her achieve pleasure, then they have the potential for a lovely sex life ahead of them.

 In terms of tricks and tips, truly, there's not much to do to change how she experiences his penis during intercourse, if that is what she is seeking. If they focus instead on different ways to play together, without relying on penis in vagina intercourse for the main course, they can enjoy great sex. Here is a link to a brochure that outlines a variety of activities when intercourse is not the focus of the intimate play: here.

If she really craves deep penetration from something shaped like a penis, there are dildos that he can hold in his hand or wear on his body using a harness, and these can be found on our web site. Her best bet is to be gentle but honest and say "I really enjoy penetration and would love it if you would use this dildo on me" without making any comment on his size or capabilities.

I really enjoy the book, Sultry Sex Talk To Seduce Any Lover, as a useful book on helping people talk about sex, talk about what they want and enjoy, and identify the various ways they can play together that would allow them to have the pleasure they want.

I hope this is helpful for her. She is very lucky to have such a good friend in you.

Take care,