Dear Sex Counselor,
When I was 10-12 years old, something strange happened to me. My mom worked nights so I was in my house by myself. I took a shower and walked in to my bedroom nude. I sat Indian-style on the floor to go through my clothes to find something to wear to school the next day. As I was sitting there my dog comes in my room and starts sniffing between my legs. I pushed him away. A minute later he comes back and does it again, but before I can move his head away from my crotch he starts to lick me down there! I had just masturbated before he licked me and had an orgasm (at this age I knew nothing about sex of any sort). This was the first time I ever had oral sex performed on me. I knew that I should make him stop, but it felt soooo good I could not. I ended up laying back on the floor with my legs spread wide as he continued to lick me. Because the sensations were so strong the whole thing only lasted about a minute or two. I felt really bad about it, but a few months later I let him do it again. Those were the only two times. But now at the age of 25 it’s something that I never forgot and that I fantasize about a lot. Is this type of thing common? I’ve always liked animals but I’m afraid to get a dog. Sometime when I’m at my friends house and I see the tip of his male dog’s penis I get hot. What can I do to get these thoughts out of my head?!
First, you should know that this is a common experience. It is considered taboo in our culture, so that’s why you never hear anyone talk about it. One place to read other women’s stories is the collection of women’s fantasies edited by Nancy Friday: Beyond My Control, My Secret Garden, Forbidden Flowers, Women On Top,or Men in Love. There you can read about women’s experiences with dogs, as well as their fantasies about being sexual with dogs (among other non-dog fantasies). There is nothing wrong with having those thoughts, and it’s a really personal decision about whether you decide to act on those thoughts with your own dog, although I don’t believe that dogs can consent to sexual behavior with a person. I don’t know that anyone has studied the topic to see how many women let their dogs lick them, but my guess is that there are those who do.
So you need to decide if you can live with the fact that you find this arousing, use the images when you want to get yourself aroused during partner sex or self-pleasuring, or if you want to eradicate this fantasy from your head. Although it is hard to change, or eliminate, fantasies, you can do so. You will need to find several fantasies that appeal to you, and arouse you as much as this one does. Then when you start thinking about this experience, or fantasizing about sexual contact with a dog, you need to substitute the fantasy with another one. You can condition yourself to prefer some fantasies by making sure you have a powerful sexual experience while thinking about your alternate fantasy. Use a vibrator, have sex with your partner in such a way that you’re really turned on and highly stimulated, and use your preferred fantasy to increase your arousal so you have a strong, positively pleasurable experience. If you decide you don’t want to get rid of your fantasy, know that is okay. Fantasy is fantasy, and you are entitled to have whatever fantasies really turn you on.
The Sex Counselor