Very Ticklish

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Dear Sex Counselor,

My girlfriend and I were getting it on good. I was attempting to kiss the nape of her neck and ear lobe. She got ticklish and giggled. I stroked her inner thigh (lightly). Goose bumps appeared on her thighs and legs - and, much to my annoyance, she giggled again! A few minutes before, she had warmed to my touch, and was definitely pleased. But then suddenly, she became ticklish? Why is this so? How can we continue to have good foreplay? Please advise me on the erogenous spots on my girlfriend’s hands, legs, and torso.


Yes, it’s true - some spots can be more ticklish than erogenous, and these spots change from person to person (and sometimes from day to day on the same person!). I can tell you from my own experience that a really light touch in certain places on my body will feel more ticklish than erotic. What I tell my lover in these cases is to touch me a little more firmly, so that I am being stroked by the whole fingertip rather than receiving feather-light touches.

The best way to proceed is to change the firmness of your touch if she finds the touch unpleasantly ticklish. She may have giggled in pleasure, however, so it’s better to ask her if she liked being touched that way or if it tickled and was not fun. I cannot actually tell you where your girlfriend likes to be touched - only she can do that. It’s a very sexy thing to be asked, "Tell me what you like". My lover and I have had some very hot conversations talking each other around our bodies "Oh, touch me there ... harder ... oooh nice, I like that ..." Creating the opportunity for her to say to you (and you to say to her) "I really want you to ..." can lead to some of the most pleasurable encounters of your life.

Although some people think that sex should not be talked about and that you should just know what to do without asking, that is not realistic, nor is it true. Pleasurable sex often stems from a lot of communication and adventurous experimentation together. Give it a try - it’s fun, and you’ll have a lot more confidence that you are touching her exactly as she likes to be touched.

The Sex Counselor