My sex drive is higher than my girlfriend's ... what to do?

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Dear Sex Counselor,

I feel like my sex drive is too high. My girlfriend and I have been together for 18 months, and everything is okay apart from this problem. I want sex every day and get turned on too easily. She only wants it once or twice a week. My constant need is acting as a big turn-off for her, and it drives me crazy. Is there any way I can slow myself down?


This is a pretty common problem, particularly for younger men. There are a couple things you can do to cool yourself off.

First, get more exercise - as much as you can fit into your day. It will use up some of the extra energy that you have.

Second, masturbate at least once a day, more often if need be. If you masturbate before seeing your girlfriend, it will take the edge off your sexual "need" for her. There’s nothing wrong with masturbating as your urges dictate - it’s a lot less stressful than expecting your girlfriend to take care of your sexual urges. Then you can focus on the more romantic and emotional side of things, which will help her get into the mood more successfully. If you need to masturbate first and then focus on less sexual time with her, do so. Explain to her what you are doing and why, and she will be very happy to support you.

Thanks for a great question!

The Sex Counselor