Dear Sex Counselor,
I’ve noticed that other online vendors carry some things that I have not been able to find on your website. Is there a reason for this?
We’re so glad you asked! We have compiled a list of items that customers often ask about in our store, and the reasons why we don’t carry those items. If you are wondering about any other product in particular, please contact us so we can add it to the list.
Ball gags can cause damage to the jaw if they are too large or are worn for too long. Most are made of low quality materials and aren’t built for looks or comfort. We do, however, offer safer alternatives, such as the Silicone Bit Gag. It does the same thing as a ball gag but without stressing the jaw or making the wearer drool.
Bras as separates
The only bras we carry at A Woman’s Touch are the ones that come in a lingerie set, often with panties and a garterbelt. This is mainly a space issue. In the store, we only have a limited amount of space to display our products, so we pick and choose carefully which items we carry. We have opted to focus on carrying other types of lingerie that aren’t so easily available, and leave the bra selling to other stores.
Desensitizing creams or lubricants
These products are designed to numb the user, usually either as a means of delaying ejaculation or to ease the pain of anal sex. If you’re using numbing cream on a penis, guess what else gets numb? Anything else the penis touches. And how are you supposed to experience pleasure when your skin, mouth, genitals, etc. are numb? Instead, why don’t you read up a little bit about Eager Ejaculation and work towards a solution that still allows for sensations. Desensitizing lubricants, such as Anal-Eaze, promise to "enhance comfort during penetration." The problem here is that anal penetration should not hurt at all! Pain is your body’s way of telling you that something is wrong, and if you block those sensations with benzocaine or other anesthetics, you could find yourself seriously injured. We recommend a nice cushiony lubricant (such as Uberlube), along with plenty of communication and relaxation to make anal play a positive experience. A little information goes a long way as well, so you may want to check out our article on getting started with anal play.
The idea of wearing something with the consistency of a Fruit Roll-Up doesn’t really appeal to us. Think sticky and gooey, and then imagine that stuck in your pubic hair (if you have it)! Not to mention that putting anything edible near or inside your vagina increases your chances of getting a yeast infection, because those little yeasties love to have a feast. No thank you! However, we do carry other, safer edible goodies, such as candy garters.
The problem with finger cots is that they only cover your fingers. So what if you have a cut or sore on the palm of your hand? You could either avoid touching your partner until it heals, or cover your entire hand with a glove! Latex and nitrile gloves protect the wearer and the person they are touching from catching an infection via cuts or wounds. Also, the combination of lube and latex (or nitrile, for those who are latex-sensitive) is delightfully slippery, leading to some interesting sensations. Plus finger cots tend to roll right off your finger at the most inopportune time. “Sorry honey, but my finger cot came off in your butt...!”
Metal handcuffs can cause damage to tendons or nerves in the wrist if the person wearing them struggles. Safer options such as our Leather Plush Chain Cuffs and a wide variety of leather and synthetic restraints can be found in our Sensation Play section.
These products are not subject to FDA approval. Most do not work the way they are advertised, and some may actually be dangerous. In fact, the FDA recently released a warning advising men not to buy supplements for erectile dysfunction, because they can interact with other medications and cause death.
Jelly rubber toys contain harmful chemicals called phthalates, which leak out of the toys and can easily enter your body through mucous membranes like the genitals or mouth. Phthalates have been linked to lots of serious health problems. This article contains more information about jelly toys and why we do not carry them.
The Joy of Sex
When this book was written, it was considered very radical. However, times have changed and this book has not adapted. It contains negative views on anal sex and other activities that may not be considered “mainstream,” but that we believe are healthy ways to express sexuality nonetheless. We do carry a nice selection of books that are more up-to-date and cover a wider range of sexual activities.
Lambskin condoms are porous. The holes in the condoms are large enough to allow bacteria, viruses, and other microbes through, but small enough to block sperm. This makes them an effective condom when contraception is your only goal. Latex and polyurethane condoms, on the other hand, are effective at preventing both the spread of sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy.
Libido- or orgasm-enhancing creams or gels
These products contain skin irritants such as menthol or botanical oils. They often include L-Arginine, an amino acid that has been shown to increase blood flow to the genitals when ingested at levels of 1000-2000 mg. per day, but not when put on the skin. They do make the user more aware of her genitals because of the irritation that they cause, but do not cause instant or easy orgasms. In fact, if you read the small print, the instructions state that you should rub the gel or lotion into the clitoris for 5 to 10 minutes. Well, in that case, the same results can be achieved by using any sexual lubricant and massaging the vulva for 5-10 minutes prior to sexual activity. Then you get all the arousal and stimulation that the "arousal" gel or lotion provides, without the irritation.
Menstruation products like the Diva Cup, Keeper, etc
A Woman’s Touch is all about sexual pleasure, and although we love reducing waste and saving the environment as much as everybody else, we just don’t have the space to carry items such as these. Plenty of other online retailers stock them, so we are sure you’ll be able to find what you’re looking for.
Metal Cock Rings
A metal cock ring can be dangerous. If the penis swells too much once the ring is on, it will be nearly impossible to remove. And by leaving the ring on, blood flow is restricted in the penis, which could lead to permanent damage. We prefer to offer rings made of leather, rubber, or silicone which either have snaps or Velcro for quick release, or can be cut with scissors if necessary. A metal cock ring stuck on an erect penis would need to be removed in an emergency room. The words “Doctor, please use the saw” should never be used in the same sentence as “penis,” as far as we are concerned.
Spermicides or condoms with spermicide
Almost all spermicides contain nonoxynol-9, which is a detergent that has proven very irritating to sensitive genital tissue. Spermicides have not been shown to have much, if any, contraceptive effect, and can actually increase the user’s chances of contracting an STI (if the user is exposed to one). For more information on this, you can read our article ”Why not use spermicidal condoms?”
They might sound like a good idea, but those little vibrating capsules you can strap to your tongue don’t really live up to their reputation. They can numb the tongue and chip teeth. And if it was accidentally swallowed, you’d have a medical emergency on your hands. If you want something with some zing that’s easy to incorporate into oral pleasuring, consider a finger vibe, like Digit Widget.
First of all, most toy cleaners contain nonoxynol-9, a detergent that has proven irritating to sensitive genital tissue (see previous entry on spermicides for more information on nonoxynol-9), and we don’t want to carry that chemical in our store. Secondly, you don’t need a special toy cleaner! Soapy warm water will do a great job of cleaning hard plastic, glass, acrylic, vinyl, elastomer, and non-shared silicone toys. Silicone toys that are shared or used both anally and vaginally should be covered with an unlubricated condom each time. All of our products come with a care & cleaning guide, so you won’t be left wondering how to clean your new purchase.
These lubricants contain very high levels of glycerin (a sugar-related substance which may cause yeast infections) or sugars like acacia honey or irritants like capsacin (the chemical that makes hot peppers hot). Any of these can cause irritation and possibly infections, even in people who aren’t usually prone to yeast infections.