Am I having too much sex?

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Dear Sex Counselor,
My girlfriend and I have sex at least seven to ten times a week. Sometimes we even have sex that many times in one day. We have only been together for together for 3.5 months. This is my first relationship; however, my girlfriend has been involved in serious relationships before. (She is 20 and I am 18.) We are both college students and recently moved in together. We are very much in love, and though it may sound contrary, our relationship is not based on sex. Could you please tell us if this is an abnormal relationship?


If your sexual activities are not interfering with your daily life, this is not an abnormal relationship.

You two are in the wonderful phase of your relationship known as limerance, and your high desire for sex is normal for this phase. During this beginning phase in your relationship, your bodies are secreting high levels of the hormones responsible for sexual attraction, and it's very normal to have more sexual feelings during this phase than you might have at other times. For some couples limerance can last for six months to a year; for others, it fades out after a couple months. There is no normal amount of time for it to last.

However, most of us in limerance discover that this high level of sexual desire can ultimately make it difficult to complete all the daily tasks we are expected to complete, and as the buzz of the new relationship fades, so does the intensity of the sexual desire. Don't be surprised, or angry, if the frequency of your sexual activity goes down somewhat over time. That, too, is normal.

So enjoy this phase of your relationship, and understand that it is likely to change some over time to a point where sex is not as frequent. That doesn't mean anything other than you're in the next phase, and it's all completely normal.

The Sex Counselor