His penis is too long...I think

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Dear Dr. Myrtle,

I am a 19-year-old woman. I am very small, only 5’0" and 76 pounds. My boyfriend has a very long penis (about 9-10").We have had sex about five times, and it hurts really bad when he reaches a certain depth. Could it be that he is hitting my cervix? Is this what hurts? Could it cause medical problems? Is there a way to stop the pain?


Although you are not causing any medical problems, it is likely that he is bumping your cervix when he penetrates very deeply. One thing you can do is experiment with different positions that keep him from penetrating you completely. Deep penetration is not necessary for him to experience pleasure; nor will it increase your pleasure, since most of the nerve endings in the vagina are in the first few inches.

You’ll have to try a variety of positions - avoid face-to-face with him on top, but you can try face-to-face with you on top; try putting your knees on pillows on either side of his hips to raise you up higher. He can penetrate you from behind, if he’s willing to control the depth (the best way for him to do this is to put his hand around the base of his penis, to keep it from going in too far). Side-by-side, facing each other with your upper leg over his hips is a good choice, as is a position where you are at a 90 degree angle to each other with your legs over his hips. Sitting in a chair that has arms, with you on top of the arms, may also work.

Another thing that we have found that works for many couples is cutting the Maven men's masturbation sleeve into a donut-shaped open sleeve, and having him wear it at the base of his penis to keep him from thrusting too deeply. You want to start with it fairly long (3" or so) then cut it down so you have it at just the right width. It's comfortable for him to wear, gives you a little extra stimulation on your vulva during penetration, and allows him to thrust without worrying about hurting you.

So have fun playing around, and ask him to be careful with how deep and hard he is thrusting.

Dr. Myrtle