Sex Tips, Tricks & Techniques

Tips on using a vibrator

Published: Sep 10 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I just got a vibrator for the first time and would like to know how to best use it. I am a single 22-year-old woman and I like it! I have only had orgasms during masturbation, although I have also slept with men. Two days ago I overcame my stupidity and went to a sex shop. It wasn’t as nice as yours (I was the only woman...

Do herbal supplements work?

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Do things like "Spanish Fly" and other herbal supplements help people get aroused? Most supplements will not do anything to you, physically, to help you be aroused. The original Spanish Fly is actually toxic, and even in small quantities causes an intense urinary tract irritation that will lead to an infection in most...

Oral sex lubricants

Published: Jul 28 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Do you have any suggestions for the best lubes to use during oral sex with men? Avoiding dry mouth at an inopportune moment has proven difficult. Yes, there are a few good choices for lubricants that can be used during oral sex with men. Some people prefer water-based lubricants for their mouth feel, and others like the...

My partner says I'm too wet

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner tells me that I get too wet for him to feel enough sensation during intercourse. How can we resolve this issue? This is a problem for some men and women, particularly those who are used to quite a bit of friction during stimulation. Here are a couple of things you can do that might help. Take a couple...

Hesitant about cunnilingus

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve been slow at giving oral sex to women. Inhibitions? Taboos? I don’t know. I’m committed to pleasuring my lover that way. Any suggestions for helping me to overcome that? In addition to orally pleasuring my female partner, how do vibrators fit in? (pardon the pun)? Which do women find more pleasurable - good oral sex or...

I'm having lesbian fantasies

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have been seriously involved with a man for the last eight years. During our love making, I sometimes talk about having sex with another woman to turn him on, but the truth is it really turns me on, too. I have never had an encounter with another woman, but it seems to be all I think about now. Should I act on this new...

How to give a blow job (aka fellatio)

Published: May 12 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’d like to give my male partner pleasure with my mouth, but I’m not sure what to do. Can you help? We’ve put together some suggestions for you, and I’m sure there are more ideas out there. If other people have tricks and techniques to share, send them to us, and we’ll add them to this answer. First and foremost: the...

Toys and female ejaculation

Published: Oct 21 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Can you give me more information on what kinds of toys might be useful when exploring female ejaculation? Please read the Intro to Female Ejaculation article before reading further, to get more basic information on G-spot and T-Zone stimulation and female ejaculation. That said, most toys are going to provide more...

Women and anal pleasure

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I recently met my latest girlfriend, and she is a very experienced lover. She says she is especially attracted to a female butt. We have had beautiful sex together, but she wants to explore anal sex with me. I thought only men were interested in anal sex. I must say that every time my lover touches my anus it is quite...

About shaving

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I am noticing more and more women that I see in my medical practice have completely shaved off all of their pubic hair. I find this very arousing and interesting. However, I have never been brave enough to ask why women shave. I have dropped some hints to my wife but she does not seem interested. She is very concerned about...

Shaving Hints & Tips

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Can you tell me more about how to shave my pubic hair safely and comfortably? I’m particularly fond of hair and fuzz, so I asked for some shaving tips from shaving experts. Here’s what one expert says: "I am a 23-year-old female and have been shaving completely for about a year now. The initial reason was for my...

The Perfect Handjob

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My boyfriend really wants me to bring him to orgasm with my hands. The problem is, I really don’t know what to do! Can you give me some pointers so that I can please him? Just as I got this question, the following was posted to one of the e-mail lists to which I subscribe. So here is some great information on how to...

Should we try some exhibitionism?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I both have the fantasy of being watched while we are making love. She agreed that a female would be fine to be the "watcher", since I feel more comfortable with that than with another male. My question is, are some things left better to the imagination, or should we give this idea of being watched a try? ...

Finding new things to do on our dates

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I am at a loss for new dating ideas! My girlfriend and I have been dating for 15 months now. We do not live together, but we go out faithfully every Friday and Saturday night. It seems as if we have run out of places to go and things to do. We have done movies, dinner at a zillion places, coffee, concerts, sporting events...

Pornography and your sex life

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My husband and I have been together for four years, and married for three. Until about one year ago I was extremely sexually aggressive and most always aroused. I masturbated frequently, at least two or three times per week, and could become aroused at the drop of a hat. All of a sudden, all of my desire seemed to disappear...

How do erection rings work?

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Are cock rings a hoax? No, cock (erection) rings are definitely not a hoax. Here’s how they work. Erections are caused by blood traveling into the penis through blood vessels deep in the core of the penis and becoming "trapped" there for a time, then returning back out of the penis on the outer surface veins. Applying...

Resources for people new to BDSM

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My boyfriend and I are very open about all sexual desires that we have, and nothing is taboo - which is very nice! He is understanding and quick to respond to any interests that I introduce, and in certain ways he has been somewhat of a teacher, as he explored much of the kinky sex he is/was interested in before he met me. ...

Using double-ended dildos

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have tried double dildos for mutual pleasure, and it just doesn’t work. The dildo we bought was not firm enough to stay in place and could not move well with thrusting. Is there anything on the market that can provide mutual vaginal penetration for women without falling out? If so, please give me some...

Ways to expand beyond vibrations

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have multiple orgasms with my vibrator - as many as ten in 15 minutes - but have never had an orgasm with a man. I have tried different things to have an orgasm without my vibrator, but it seems that nothing works. My orgasms are incredibly intense, but still I wish to have one without plugging something in first. I...

Why watch erotic movies

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Why do people watch erotic movies? Many people, women and men, enjoy watching sexually explicit erotic movies. The reasons are as varied as their individual personalities. Here are some of the most common reasons: It excites you to watch other people have sex. This is a valid tool for both stimulating yourself...

Wanting anal penetration by my wife

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I am aroused by the thought of having my wife strap on a dildo and have anal sex with me. I’m afraid she’ll refuse and question my sexuality. How should I introduce her to the idea? First, I want to reassure you (and your wife, should she read this) that your interest in anal penetration is quite common, even for...

How do you 'deep throat'?

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have trouble taking my boyfriend’s entire penis into my mouth when I perform oral sex on him. I can’t seem to overcome the gag reflex. He is not overly large. I just can’t seem to take in very much (3-4", tops). Is there any way to overcome this reflex? Practice? Actually, you are completely normal in how much of your...

How can I best pleasure my partner

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Is the upper/inner thigh of a woman a sensitive or pleasurable spot to touch? Where are the best places to touch my girlfriend to give her the most pleasure? How can I pleasure my partner? This wonderful question is one of the ones we get asked most often. My answer is actually very simple: Ask your partner what feels...

How long do vibrators last?

Published: Oct 21 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, How long can I expect my vibrator to last? Vibrators will last anywhere from several months to several years, depending on how they are made, how much you use yours, how many delicate or complicated parts it has, and how you care for it. We do like to point out that the cost of a vibrator is not much greater than the cost...

Is it okay to have sex in water?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Is it possible to have sex in a pool? A few people have told me that you can get "stuck" from the suction from being under water. Is this true? Is underwater sex safe? It is possible, and safe, to have sex under water. There is not enough of a vacuum created to actually cause suction that would get the two of you stuck...

Dog Fantasies

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, When I was 10-12 years old, something strange happened to me. My mom worked nights so I was in my house by myself. I took a shower and walked in to my bedroom nude. I sat Indian-style on the floor to go through my clothes to find something to wear to school the next day. As I was sitting there my dog comes in my room and...

Taking care of hosiery

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Can I do anything to keep my favorite hosiery in good shape? Yes, actually, there are things you can do to keep your hosiery perky. Always hand-wash hosiery in a smooth sink, with warm water and just a touch of clothes detergent liquid. Swish it in the sink, then rinse with cold water. Do not use Woolite to clean your...

What do I do with Warming Gels?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I see these gels that warm when you rub them into the skin and then get warmer when you blow on them. But you warn us not to use them on the vulva or in the vagina, so what do I do with them? These warming gels are intended to help you focus on more whole-body sensations. You can rub the gel into a specific area and it...

Anal Sex Guidelines

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I want to explore anal sex, but we have a bunch of questions for you ... Ok, then let’s go question by question: Do we always need an enema before anal sex? No, that’s a personal decision, and there are health reasons NOT to do that. Enemas can damage the surface skin of the rectum.  Some people feel...

Should I let my wife spank me?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve been married for 13 years. My wife and I always argue about everything, and the last time we argued she said she was going to spank me. I thought she was joking, but it seams she is serious about it. She showed me a site on the net called "disciplinarily wife’s club". I looked at it and and laughed and laughed - it was...

New partner is too wide & too long!

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, i just found out my new lover is rather... frighteningly endowed. and most of my past lovers have mistaken me for a virgin. he’s patient and sweet, so he doesn’t mind waiting while i overcome fears, or trying other interesting things in the meantime. i enjoy performing oral sex and both vaginal and anal penetration......

Why don't you carry handcuffs?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I are looking to live out a naughty police officer fantasy, but we can’t seem to find any metal handcuffs on your website. You carry a lot of different restraints, but why no handcuffs? There are a few reasons why we don’t stock handcuffs or encourage their use. The main reason being SAFETY, SAFETY, SAFETY!...

My partner is too long.

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I love my partner dearly, but his penis is too long and intercourse is actually pretty painful at times due to the depth of penetration. Is there something we can do that would keep him from penetrating me so deeply? This is a common question and causes a lot of distress between men and women when it happens. There’s...

How to clean your toys

Published: Mar 20 2014
Dear AWT Pleasure Specialists, What’s the best way to keep my toys clean? I’ve seen "toy cleaner" advertised - do I need to buy any special products to keep my toys clean? With good care and reasonable use, your toys should last for quite a while. To protect yourself and those you love, consider the following cleaning suggestions. Plastic...

Othercourse

Published: Feb 9 2011
 Download a free PDF version of this brochure   Othercourse--what is it?   Othercourse is creative sex play that is not limited to, or focused on intercourse. It can include any sexual activities you and your partner enjoy, and can lead to anything you both agree to. It can be the first course, the last course, the main course...

Seniors & BDSM

Published: Aug 27 2010
Dear Sex Counselor: I enjoy sensation play and dominance/submission games with my partner, but sometimes we wonder whether this will be safe, or if we'll even be interested, when we're in the later part of our lives. What do you think? Kinkster ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------...

Micropenis

Published: Aug 8 2012
A close friend of mine has been dating a wonderful guy for a few months.  She likes him and they get along well everywhere except in bed.  He has a very small penis - as in micropenis small - and she both doesn't know how to talk to him about it and doesn't know what to do even if she could.  She's asked my help in finding...

The Myth of the Magic Button: The G, A, & U "Spots" Explained

Published: Aug 5 2014
Many of us have seen bright headlines in magazines that claim to teach you how to find a magical "spot" on you or your partner's body that will give them "mind-blowing" orgasms like they've never had before. While it's true that each individual often has many paths to orgasm and that, depending on the path used, orgasms can feel different from...

How to do Kegels

Published: Mar 21 2016
Pelvic floor exercise tools act as biofeedback tools and help you know if and when you are contracting your pelvic floow muscles correctly. Most of them sit very close to the muscles you’re going to be contracting (your pelvic floor muscles), and when you lift those muscles you can feel the tool "lift" up inside you. This lets you know you’re...