Relationship Advice

What is considered to be an affair?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I need input - feel very ignorant. I have been married for more than ten years. I have kids and what I think is a wonderful husband. I have girlfriends from work, and we have every Wednesday as Girls Night Out. We go to a local inn for a karaoke sing along. Recently, an extremely handsome guy from work came out with us. He...

Post-affair tension

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Recently, my husband had an indiscretion with a girl he knows and has known for several months. He did not go all the way with her, but they did make out and do some heavy petting while they were both naked. He says he was really drunk and doesn’t even remember everything. He also says that he loves me and has no feelings...

Boundaries and parental behavior

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I need to know whether this is appropriate behavior. When I was in third grade my dad did something that seems inappropriate to me, but maybe it’s not. One time when I was home alone with my dad he asked me if I had ever seen a man’s penis before. I said I hadn’t, and then he asked me if I would like to see...

If I'm bisexual, does that mean that I'm non-monogamous too?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I think I’m bisexual, but I am not sure. I am attracted to men and women, I know that; but I only want one lover at a time. Is it possible to be bisexual and monogamous? My friend says that if you are bisexual, it means you are lovers with both men and women at the same time. That doesn’t seem right. Bisexuality and...

How to handle ex-partners

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now, and she still lives with her ex even though they have been broken up for over a year! My girlfriend allows her ex to control every aspect of her life. Often I feel like I’m in second place. I know my girlfriend loves me and I love her, but my heart breaks each...

Is it a dating faux pas?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Is honesty always the best policy? I have found myself in a relationship situation that I’m not sure what to do with. I have been dating a woman for approximately four months, and we get along great. We are friends, which I think is important. We also have an understanding that we are able to date other people. Recently...

My sex drive is higher than my girlfriend's ... what to do?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I feel like my sex drive is too high. My girlfriend and I have been together for 18 months, and everything is okay apart from this problem. I want sex every day and get turned on too easily. She only wants it once or twice a week. My constant need is acting as a big turn-off for her, and it drives me crazy. Is there any way...

Very Ticklish

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I were getting it on good. I was attempting to kiss the nape of her neck and ear lobe. She got ticklish and giggled. I stroked her inner thigh (lightly). Goose bumps appeared on her thighs and legs - and, much to my annoyance, she giggled again! A few minutes before, she had warmed to my touch, and was...

Is my husband really gay?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have been married for 18 years, and I recently found some pictures in my husband’s e-mail of "She-Males". When I questioned him, I asked him if he was gay and he said NO. When I asked if he liked to wear women’s clothing, he said "maybe - I don’t know". He is in the Navy, so this was...

Sexuality and Relationships for Breast Cancer Survivors & their Partners

Published: Aug 27 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I work with breast cancer patients and have some questions regarding cancer and sexuality/relationships. Can you tell me a bit about how breast cancer affects a long term relationship? How to discuss feelings about the diagnosis? What if she’s worried her partner will be turned off? What if s/he is turned off, or afraid to...

Sexuality and Aging

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I are cruising through mid-life, and want to maintain a healthy sex life far into old age. How can we best take care of our bodies and our relationship so we can enjoy intimacy as we get older? We all go through changes as our bodies age -- some good and some more challenging. Luckily, there are plenty of...

My man's use of porn bothers me

Published: Nov 10 2009
Dear Sex Counselor: How do I get over my man looking at porn when he masturbates? It makes me feel insignificant. Dear Feeling Insignificant, Thank you for your question. I have a couple of questions for you to consider as you think about your partner's relationship to porn. Does he masturbate instead of having sex with you? Or is it...