Ask The Sex Counselor

Re-sparking the libido

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve entered menopause and I’ve noticed that my libido is not what it used to be. Are there things I can do to get it revved up again? Yes, it’s true - there are natural changes that happen with our libido when our hormonal balance changes at menopause. Libido, or the desire to be sexual, takes practice to happen easily,...

Healthy Sexuality After Cancer

Published: Sep 16 2011
Download a free PDF version of this brochure How do I reclaim my sexual self after cancer treatment? Sexuality, including sexual function and the psychological aspects of sexual health, are affected in almost everyone who goes through cancer treatment. The diagnosis & treatment of cancer often result in profound changes for both the...

Are my fantasies sick?

Published: Jan 15 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, I'm not certain if I'm asking a question, so much as asking for insight. I don't believe I was a victim of physical sexual abuse, but wonder if perhaps I've been a victim psychologically. I don't know how to find the source of this bothersome mind process, if there is a source, or if I should be concerned about it in the...

Defining virginity

Published: Jan 15 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have decided to wait until we are married to have sexual intercourse. We are both virgins, and we are wondering if we were to have anal sex, would it affect her virginity in any way? Will I be considered to be "losing my virginity" also? The answer really depends on how you decide to define virginity....

What is a step-parent's role in educating a partner's kids?

Published: Jan 15 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, As a step-parent, what responsibilities do I have to teach my teenage step-daughters about sex? I just married a woman with 11- and 13-year-old daughters. I have two sons, and know absolutely nothing about girls. The girls seem to be sexually active - their talk, dress and companions indicate that. Is that possible at this...

Married and bisexual

Published: Jan 15 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, I'm bisexual and my husband doesn't know. I'm wondering how many are in the same situation? I love my husband dearly but feel like I need the love of a woman, too. I'm scared to do so, though, and wouldn't even know how or where to start. Any advice would be appreciated. From our experience in our store, and via...

Introducing my partner to bondage

Published: Jan 15 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, I have always liked to be tied up. I think its a real turn-on. I do not know how to broach this subject with my boyfriend. I would be embarrassed to tell him this. We have an extremely hot sexual relationship right now with very few inhibitions. Is there any way I can hint at this without saying it outright? I assure you...

Letting her know I have a crush on her

Published: Jan 15 2009
Dear Sex Counselor,I'm a 19 year old woman. I'm attractive and have had two relationships with girls. I find myself attracted to a girlfriend but don't know how to tell her without ruining our friendship. I find myself dressing sexy for her, but she is not responding. Please help. You've asked a really great question! Many of us find it really...

Same-sex feelings and experimentation

Published: Jan 15 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, I am 13 and I am a virgin ... sort of. Last summer my best girlfriend and I started doing something I feel "funny" about. We have talked about boys for years but have never tried anything. One night on a sleepover last summer, we practiced kissing each other, pretending to kiss a boy. She said we were "practicing our...

Am I having too much sex?

Published: Jan 15 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have sex at least seven to ten times a week. Sometimes we even have sex that many times in one day. We have only been together for together for 3.5 months. This is my first relationship; however, my girlfriend has been involved in serious relationships before. (She is 20 and I am 18.) We are both college...

Communicating your desires

Published: Jan 15 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, I am only recently beginning to explore my own sexuality, in terms of my REAL needs and desires, not the things I used to believe I should want. I am in a relationship with a man who has a great deal more experience than I, which I have found intimidating in the past. He has always given me the impression that he is very...

What to expect and how to prepare: first time vaginal penetration and sexual intercourse

Published: May 3 2011
A woman’s first time having penetrative sex or vaginal intercourse is often an experience filled with fear and anxiety, primarily due to the lack of quality information on what to expect and how to prepare for this important first. So, here’s some practical advice and knowledge on the subject to clear up some of the confusion. First and...

Pelvic Floor Health for Women

Published: Mar 7 2012
Download a free PDF version of this brochure What is the Pelvic Floor? The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that forms a supportive sling in the lower pelvis. This sling, made up of 14 different muscles arranged in three layers, attaches to the pelvic bones. In a woman’s body, the pelvic floor muscles surround the urethra, vaginal opening...

Erectile Dysfunction

Published: Jan 30 2013
Click here to download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Dr. Myrtle, What is ED? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Erectile Dysfunction (ED) in men is defined as an inability to achieve and maintain a penile erection sufficient for penetration....

Masturbation for Women

Published: Oct 10 2008
Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, Why should I masturbate? Do you have suggestions of things I might try? Self pleasure, also known as masturbation, specifically refers to touching yourself sexually in a way that feels good. There is no one right way to masturbate, and as long as it doesn’t hurt, there’s...

Postpartum Recovery and Sexuality

Published: Feb 21 2007
Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Dr Myrtle, I have many questions about my body and sexuality in this post-delivery time. Help! Postpartum Sexual Health Issues How can I heal my perineum? Many women experience damage to the perineum (the area between the vaginal opening and the anus) during delivery. Here are some...

Cervical Self-Examination

Published: Oct 10 2008
Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Dr. Myrtle, I’m interested in seeing my own cervix. Could you tell me how to perform a cervical exam on myself? Benefits of Cervical Self-examination There are many benefits to examining your own vulva and cervix. By examining yourself regularly, you can gain a sense of what your body...

Eager Ejaculation

Published: Oct 10 2008
Download a free PDF version of this brochure version. Dear Dr. Myrtle, Try as I might, I can’t seem to last as long as I’d like to. How can I prolong sexual penetration without coming? In books and movies, our culture glorifies the mad, passionate rush to intercourse as the ultimate sexual experience.  Unfortunately, frenzied sexual...

Tips for First-Time Vibrator Users

Published: Oct 10 2008
Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Sex Counselor, I just bought my first vibrator. It seems like it could be a lot of fun, but I have no idea what to do with it! How can I experiment to find what I like best? Am I going to get addicted to it and no longer enjoy other stimulation? Congratulations on buying your first vibrator...

The Path to Healthy Sexuality

Published: Oct 10 2008
Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Sex Counselor, I feel like there are lots of messages about sexuality being pushed my way, and it’s hard to sort them all out. How can I know what is really "healthy" sexuality, and learn to develop my own sexuality in a positive way? Ah, sex. We joke about it and use it to sell everything...

Orgasms for Women

Published: Sep 9 2008
Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Dr. Myrtle, I don’t have orgasms. What can I do? This is a very common question with some straightforward answers, yet many women can’t find enough information about their bodies to learn how to give themselves an orgasm. Often we expect our partners to know how to stimulate us, or think...

Pregnancy and Sex

Published: Jul 13 2006
Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Dr Myrtle, I have a WHOLE bunch of questions about being sexual while I’m pregnant. Can you give me some detailed information about how to enjoy sex during pregnancy? Pregnancy is a time in which your body and your personal roles may shift dramatically. These changes can transform your view...

All About Libido

Published: Oct 10 2008
Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Sex Counselor, I hear the word "libido" used a lot. What is it, exactly? If my libido isn’t as frisky as I want it to be, what can I do? We talk about libido a lot:  “He has a high libido;” “I don’t have any libido.”  We’re usually referring to someone’s “sex drive” or level of...

Masturbation for Men

Published: Apr 30 2009
 Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, Why should I masturbate? Do you have suggestions of things I might try? Self-pleasure, also known as masturbation, specifically refers to touching yourself sexually in a way that feels good.  There is no right way to masturbate, and as long as it doesn’t hurt, there...

Pelvic Floor Health for Men

Published: Mar 7 2012
Download a free PDF version of this brochure What is the Pelvic Floor? The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that forms a supportive sling in the lower pelvis. This sling, made up of 14 different muscles arranged in three layers, attaches to the pelvic bones. In a man’s body, these muscles surround the urethra, the area beneath the...

Dealing with childhood sexual abuse

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve never told anyone before, but I was sexually abused as a child. It happened when I was around 7 or 8 years old. I’m 30 now, and some of the abuse my father did to me I can recall like it happened five minutes ago, but sometimes I have a hard time recalling. It’s really fuzzy like I dreamed it happened,...

My mom's rape and the consequences

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, About three months I was looking through my mom’s dresser - looking at old photos and letters, you know - stuff like that. I found something that shocked me, scared made, and almost made me cry. It was a letter my mom wrote to a man that I found out later lived with her family when she was a young girl. The letter talked...

How to safely use nipple clamps

Published: Jan 21 2008
Dear Dr. Myrtle, I enjoy nipple clamps (a lot!), but I worry about causing damage. Can you tell me how long I can leave them on, how tight is safe, and what I should watch for? Nipple clamps increase sensation in two main ways: Because they are clamped on, they cause continuous pressure signals to be sent to your brain. They...

How to choose a book on women's orgasms

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I see quite a few books on orgasms for women here...how do I choose? Contrary to popular belief, orgasms don’t just “happen” to many women. In many cases, it’s hard to know where to begin to learn about your body and what brings you pleasure. Whether you’ve never had an orgasm before, feel as though you can’t have them...

How to choose written erotica

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, There are so many erotic books out there...how do I choose some that are likely to be fun for me to read? The erotic fiction we carry can be split into several categories. First, there are compilations of short stories, written with specific erotic themes and content, including distinct plots and character development....

How to choose a dildo

Published: Oct 14 2008
Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, I’m a little curious about dildos. Why would someone want to use one? How can I choose one that’s the right shape and size for me? Dildos are the oldest sex toys known to humans, with the earliest on record dating back to 5000 BC. Dildos are available in many shapes and sizes...

How to choose a harness

Published: Oct 14 2008
Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve seen harnesses on your website. What are they, and how are they used? How can I choose one that’s right for me? Harnesses are used to hold a dildo against the wearer’s body. Together, a harness and dildo (a.k.a. “strap-on”) can be worn by a woman or man to penetrate a...

How to choose a game

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I see a lot of different games to play with my partner, but I can’t seem to choose. Can you help? If you want to start an intimate conversation with your partner, but don't exactly know how to start.  Having a game handy like the, Intimate 4Play game, might be just what you need to get you talking, sharing, laughing...

How to choose an erotic movie

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, There are an awful lot of erotic movies out there. Are there any differences? How can I choose from the ones you carry? For many of us, watching other people have sex can spark ideas, fantasies, and arousal to help us make our sex lives more interesting. The trick is to find something that is fun and hot to watch, without...

How to choose a massage oil or cream

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, How do I know which massage oils or creams are best for me? Thinking of a nice massage? A nice warm room, comfy sheets and towels, dim lights, soothing music, a bowl of warm water to heat your massage oil, and you’re ready for your massage. But do you ever feel overwhelmed when trying to select just the right product...

Men's Sex Toys

Published: Oct 21 2008
Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, I am interested in getting a sex toy specifically designed for a man, but I don’t know where to begin. What are my choices? There are several different types of sex toys made specifically for men. At A Woman’s Touch, you’ll find men’s toys that fit into four broad categories:...

How to choose my first vibrator

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve finally worked up the courage to buy myself a vibrator. I’ve never used one before, and I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the choices. Can you give me any guidelines? I want my first vibrator to be one that I’ll like. Congratulations on buying your first vibrator! I understand how overwhelming it can be to look at all...

How to choose a Kegel exercise tool

Published: Aug 27 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I want to start doing Kegel exercises, and I see you have several Kegel exercise "tools" available on your site. How do I choose the one that’s best for me? First, congratulations on starting to do your Kegels! Strong pelvic floor muscles have lots of benefits, from better orgasms to a decreased risk of incontinence. If...

How to choose restraints (bondage)

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner wants to see what it’s like to be tied up during sex. I’m open to the idea, but I’m kind of nervous and I need some more information first! I don’t know anything about tying knots, and I’m not really into that whole domination thing...how can I make this work for me and my partner? Using restraint during sex...

How to choose a book about bondage

Published: Aug 6 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’m curious about bondage, and I heard that you should read about it before you start doing it. With all the bondage books out there, how do I pick the one that will be best for me? All of the bondage books we carry will give you enough information to begin your exploration of bondage. However, they each have their own...

Books for Moms about Sex

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Can you recommend any books that give moms or moms-to-be information about maintaining a healthy sex life, both during and after pregnancy? Maintaining a healthy sex life is important to many moms and moms-to-be. Pregnant women and women who have recently given birth often find themselves wondering what’s "healthy" or ...

Harness size chart

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, There are so many harnesses ... how do I choose one that will fit me? In general, you should measure your hips or waist (wherever you want to wear the harness) and use that measurement to choose a harness that fits you. Our harnesses are sized as follows:   Hip Harnesses Hip or Waist...

What's good for body massage and safe to use as a lubricant?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I like to give my partner whole-body massages, and they sometimes lead to intercourse. I know oils don’t make good sexual lubricants (and that they can make holes in condoms). Are there any products I can use for massage and for sexual intercourse? It’s a dilemma. We don’t recommend using massage oil on the genitals,...

Harness for really small hips?

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have a very small hip size (24")... its hard for me to find a strap-on harness that will work. I am looking for one that will fit me "perfectly". Do you have any that will fit me? There are a few that could work: The Pleasure Principle is a very adjustable harness that will go to the size you need, and offers...

Female Condoms

Published: May 9 2006
Dear Dr. Myrtle, What can you tell me about the female condom? Structural Details of the Female Condom The female condom is made up of a long polyurethane sheath that lines the walls of the vagina and is anchored at each end by flexible polyurethane rings. The ring at the closed end rests over the cervix (like a diaphragm or cervical...

Oils as Sexual Lubricants: pros & cons

Published: Jun 2 2006
Dear Dr. Myrtle, Can’t I use oil as a sexual lubricant? Maybe. Oils are lubricants, and some people use them as sexual lubricants without any problem whatsoever. As long as you know yourself, your needs, and the potential issues involved, you may be able to use oils sexually. But before you do, consider all of the facts. The Oily Debate ...

How to choose a lubricant

Published: Dec 6 2007
Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Dr. Myrtle, I see ads for personal lubricants but they don’t explain much. What should I know about a lubricant before I buy one? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lubricants increase pleasure. Your genital...

Condoms and Barriers

Published: Jul 22 2006
Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Dr. Myrtle, I want to protect myself, but it seems weird or geeky to whip out some latex. How can I make using condoms more fun? Condoms and other barriers (such as gloves and dams) allow people to explore their sexuality more safely. If you’ve decided to be sexual with someone else,...

How to choose a game

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I would like to get a sexy game to play together, but I'm not sure how to choose one. Can you help? Games are a great way to have fun with a partner while discovering or introducing new ideas to your erotic play. Here’s a guide to help you choose a sexy game or two to make your playtime more exciting. We...

Ben Wa Balls, Pleasure Balls, Kegel Eggs..What's the Difference?

Published: Feb 12 2013
The popular book trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey, included a mention of some wearable balls (named Ben Wa Balls in the book) that apparently caused great pleasure to the woman wearing them. Whether you've been reading erotica that mentions Ben Wa Balls, looking for something fun to wear when you are out and about, or wondering how you can strengthen...

How to Choose a Nipple Toy

Published: Mar 2 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, I really like it when my partner plays with my nipples, and I've been thinking of bringing a toy or two to the bedroom. But there are so many nipple toys on your website! Where should I start? Our nipple toys can be divided into two main categories – clamps and suction toys. We also have a variety of breast and nipple...

How to Choose Condoms

Published: Feb 7 2009
Dr. Myrtle, How can I figure out which condom is best for my needs? We've put together a handy guide to give you as much information as possible about the variety of condoms we carry.  Download our condom comparison chart inside our Condoms & Barriers Brochure. You'll get exact information about the length, width, color,...

Lubricant Comparison Chart

Published:
Dr. Myrtle, Your descriptions of lubricants are helpful, but do you have a chart or anything so I can compare them side by side? We're so glad you asked! We've put together this handy lubricant comparison chart that gives you information about the consistency (thickness or thinness), ingredients, taste, moisturizing properties, and other...

How to choose a DVD about positions

Published: Jun 23 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, I am looking for a DVD on Positions, but I notice you offer a lot of different options.  How do I choose? Instructional films on positions are excellent resources to learn new ways to broaden your sexual repertoire, help you spark conversations on what you like, as well as simply being visually and sensually arousing...

Female athelete's libido level

Published: Oct 10 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I am a 42 yr old gay woman who has been in a three year relationship with a 41 yr old woman who is quite active. She is involved in a tennis league and plays regularly, but more importantly, she is a runner and trains extremely hard as she is training for the NYC Marathon this year. I am an active cyclist and will workout at...

How to keep the sexual fires burning

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I suffer from a low level of sexual desire toward my husband, and it is not because I don’t find him attractive. Please help me find a way to improve or increase my cognitive sense of desire. One of the more destructive myths that floats around out there is that sexual desire should come automatically, and should persist...

How do I know if I've had an orgasm?

Published: Sep 26 2008
Dear Sex Counselor I have a long-distance relationship. I probably only see my boyfriend maybe one week out of the month if I’m lucky. Anyway, he likes to have phone sex. I’d never done this before, so at first I was uncomfortable with it. I had also never masturbated by myself before. Now that I have the hang of it, and I know what he wants to...

I don't have orgasms...what can I do?

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, The subject of orgasms has been a very touchy subject for me. I get embarrassed when it is mentioned to me. The reason for this is that I have never had an orgasm. The few men that I have slept with begin to wonder why I cannot orgasm. In the past they have never asked me about it, but when our sex life came to an end I...

Woman slow to orgasm

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I know that orgasms are clitorally produced, but my clitoris does not seem to be very sensitive. I have found that I can not reach an orgasm unless my boyfriend and I are very rough. It is often difficult to reach an orgasm at all, and I am starting to get a little bit frustrated. I also feel that my boyfriend may be getting...

Women's orgasms

Published: Sep 10 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My current girlfriend cums faster when I stimulate her actual pussy. Her clit is hard to find. It is small. Is an orgasm from the clit the same as an orgasm from the pussy? Orgasms are orgasms, regardless of what you stimulate to achieve them. Orgasms happen partly in the head and partly from actual stimulation; in fact,...

How to change how I have orgasms?

Published: Sep 10 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’m 40 years old, reasonably orgasmic, but there’s a catch: I can only come if I masturbate in a rather strange way. I must have learned it as a young child, but I can only reach orgasm if I kind of "hump" the end of a bed, sofa, or other kind of soft/kind of firm surface. It usually takes quite a while, too. I am too...

Masturbating, but can't have an orgasm

Published: Sep 26 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I am an 18-year-old woman and have been masturbating regularly since I was 14. I have been able to bring myself close to orgasm with fingers and then again with a vibrator, but I haven’t had an orgasm. I’ve tried using a massaging showerhead to stimulate myself, but nothing seems to work. Is there any other techniques, etc....

I used to have more, better orgasms...

Published: Sep 10 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have been with one man for all my sex life. I am currently engaged to him. We have been having sex for over a year now. He was my first and will be my only partner. In the beginning, he knew more than I did, as I was a virgin and he was not. From the start I was a multi-orgasmic woman, and my orgasms were very powerful....

More, better orgasms

Published: Sep 10 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, When my boyfriend and I are just playing, he can have multiple orgasms that can last for a while. I have a very hard time achieving an orgasm, and when I do it doesn’t last very long so I never really get to enjoy it. So I was wondering if there was anything I could do to make my orgasms longer and more frequent? One way...

More about orgasms with and without vibrator assistance

Published: Sep 26 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have trouble orgasming unless I use my vibrator (plug in, medium size) and lately I’ve found that I can’t orgasm unless I am using it. Is it possible that I could have damaged the nerves in my clitoris somehow?? I am happily married, love to masturbate, have no problem telling my husband where and how to touch me, but...

Male Multiple Orgasms

Published: Mar 14 2006
Dear Sex Counselor, I have heard that a man - just like a woman - can have multiple orgasms before he comes to a full ejaculation. If this is true, I would like to know how can I achieve it in order for me to last longer in bed with my mate and be able to share in an orgasm together simultaneously. Yes, it’s true that men can learn to hold...

Masturbation How-to for Women

Published: Sep 26 2008
Click here to download a pdf brochure about Masturbation for Women. Dear Sex Counselor, I was raised to believe that masturbation is an "evil" and "unholy" thing. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that that, of course, isn’t true; but now my problem is that I want to try it, but I really am not sure of what to do. I am a virgin and...

All About Packing

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’m curious about packing. What is it, and why would I want to do it? I’m also curious about how to choose a packing dildo, and how to keep it in place. What can you tell me? What is packing? Packing refers to using a dildo or other object to create a penis-like bulge in the pants. Special soft dildos (called packing...

Things you won't find on our website

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve noticed that other online vendors carry some things that I have not been able to find on your website. Is there a reason for this? We’re so glad you asked! We have compiled a list of items that customers often ask about in our store, and the reasons why we don’t carry those items. If you are wondering about any other...

Is A Woman's Touch an Environmentally Friendly Company?

Published: Oct 10 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I want to support businesses that only carry non-toxic products and that have environmentally aware business practices. What does A Woman’s Touch do to be an environmentally friendlier business? Dear Green-conscious friend: A Woman’s Touch is owned and run by women who are deeply concerned about the very same things. We...

Valentine's Day Gift Ideas

Published: Jan 29 2013
  Let the sparks fly this February! Whether you want to seduce your honey on the sly with a sexy coupon, stock up on lube for a sensual marathon, warm up with a hot new erotica collection, or try a little bit of everything, we’ve gathered some ideas to help you get started. The Hot Quickie Roll the Playful Dice and see which body part...

Answers About Parabens

Published: Aug 13 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, I keep hearing about the dangers of parabens, but it seems like so many products contain them, including lubricants. Are parabens really that bad? Should I avoid parabens just to be on the safe side? A Woman's Touch is dedicated to the sexual health and pleasure of our customers.  Because we promote knowledge of sexual...

Answers About Propylene Glycol

Published: Aug 13 2009
Dear Sex Counselor, I see that some of your lubricants contain propylene glycol. Isn't that what antifreeze is made of?! Is it safe to use? A Woman's Touch is dedicated to the sexual health and pleasure of our customers.  Because we promote knowledge of sexual health we are frequently asked about the ingredients used in the products we...

Lingerie Care & Cleaning

Published: Feb 9 2010
Delicate garments, especially silk, require a bit of extra care when cleaning. This isn't difficult or time-consuming, and will help keep your garment looking great for longer. Here are some tips: A. Please read carefully all manufacturer's tags and accompanying instructions related to care and cleaning of your garment. B. In general, any...

What is considered to be an affair?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I need input - feel very ignorant. I have been married for more than ten years. I have kids and what I think is a wonderful husband. I have girlfriends from work, and we have every Wednesday as Girls Night Out. We go to a local inn for a karaoke sing along. Recently, an extremely handsome guy from work came out with us. He...

Post-affair tension

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Recently, my husband had an indiscretion with a girl he knows and has known for several months. He did not go all the way with her, but they did make out and do some heavy petting while they were both naked. He says he was really drunk and doesn’t even remember everything. He also says that he loves me and has no feelings...

Boundaries and parental behavior

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I need to know whether this is appropriate behavior. When I was in third grade my dad did something that seems inappropriate to me, but maybe it’s not. One time when I was home alone with my dad he asked me if I had ever seen a man’s penis before. I said I hadn’t, and then he asked me if I would like to see...

If I'm bisexual, does that mean that I'm non-monogamous too?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I think I’m bisexual, but I am not sure. I am attracted to men and women, I know that; but I only want one lover at a time. Is it possible to be bisexual and monogamous? My friend says that if you are bisexual, it means you are lovers with both men and women at the same time. That doesn’t seem right. Bisexuality and...

How to handle ex-partners

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now, and she still lives with her ex even though they have been broken up for over a year! My girlfriend allows her ex to control every aspect of her life. Often I feel like I’m in second place. I know my girlfriend loves me and I love her, but my heart breaks each...

Is it a dating faux pas?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Is honesty always the best policy? I have found myself in a relationship situation that I’m not sure what to do with. I have been dating a woman for approximately four months, and we get along great. We are friends, which I think is important. We also have an understanding that we are able to date other people. Recently...

My sex drive is higher than my girlfriend's ... what to do?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I feel like my sex drive is too high. My girlfriend and I have been together for 18 months, and everything is okay apart from this problem. I want sex every day and get turned on too easily. She only wants it once or twice a week. My constant need is acting as a big turn-off for her, and it drives me crazy. Is there any way...

Very Ticklish

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I were getting it on good. I was attempting to kiss the nape of her neck and ear lobe. She got ticklish and giggled. I stroked her inner thigh (lightly). Goose bumps appeared on her thighs and legs - and, much to my annoyance, she giggled again! A few minutes before, she had warmed to my touch, and was...

Is my husband really gay?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have been married for 18 years, and I recently found some pictures in my husband’s e-mail of "She-Males". When I questioned him, I asked him if he was gay and he said NO. When I asked if he liked to wear women’s clothing, he said "maybe - I don’t know". He is in the Navy, so this was...

Sexuality and Relationships for Breast Cancer Survivors & their Partners

Published: Aug 27 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I work with breast cancer patients and have some questions regarding cancer and sexuality/relationships. Can you tell me a bit about how breast cancer affects a long term relationship? How to discuss feelings about the diagnosis? What if she’s worried her partner will be turned off? What if s/he is turned off, or afraid to...

Sexuality and Aging

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I are cruising through mid-life, and want to maintain a healthy sex life far into old age. How can we best take care of our bodies and our relationship so we can enjoy intimacy as we get older? We all go through changes as our bodies age -- some good and some more challenging. Luckily, there are plenty of...

My man's use of porn bothers me

Published: Nov 10 2009
Dear Sex Counselor: How do I get over my man looking at porn when he masturbates? It makes me feel insignificant. Dear Feeling Insignificant, Thank you for your question. I have a couple of questions for you to consider as you think about your partner's relationship to porn. Does he masturbate instead of having sex with you? Or is it...

Tips on using a vibrator

Published: Sep 10 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I just got a vibrator for the first time and would like to know how to best use it. I am a single 22-year-old woman and I like it! I have only had orgasms during masturbation, although I have also slept with men. Two days ago I overcame my stupidity and went to a sex shop. It wasn’t as nice as yours (I was the only woman...

Do herbal supplements work?

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Do things like "Spanish Fly" and other herbal supplements help people get aroused? Most supplements will not do anything to you, physically, to help you be aroused. The original Spanish Fly is actually toxic, and even in small quantities causes an intense urinary tract irritation that will lead to an infection in most...

Oral sex lubricants

Published: Jul 28 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Do you have any suggestions for the best lubes to use during oral sex with men? Avoiding dry mouth at an inopportune moment has proven difficult. Yes, there are a few good choices for lubricants that can be used during oral sex with men. Some people prefer water-based lubricants for their mouth feel, and others like the...

My partner says I'm too wet

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner tells me that I get too wet for him to feel enough sensation during intercourse. How can we resolve this issue? This is a problem for some men and women, particularly those who are used to quite a bit of friction during stimulation. Here are a couple of things you can do that might help. Take a couple...

Hesitant about cunnilingus

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve been slow at giving oral sex to women. Inhibitions? Taboos? I don’t know. I’m committed to pleasuring my lover that way. Any suggestions for helping me to overcome that? In addition to orally pleasuring my female partner, how do vibrators fit in? (pardon the pun)? Which do women find more pleasurable - good oral sex or...

I'm having lesbian fantasies

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have been seriously involved with a man for the last eight years. During our love making, I sometimes talk about having sex with another woman to turn him on, but the truth is it really turns me on, too. I have never had an encounter with another woman, but it seems to be all I think about now. Should I act on this new...

How to give a blow job (aka fellatio)

Published: May 12 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’d like to give my male partner pleasure with my mouth, but I’m not sure what to do. Can you help? We’ve put together some suggestions for you, and I’m sure there are more ideas out there. If other people have tricks and techniques to share, send them to us, and we’ll add them to this answer. First and foremost: the...

Toys and female ejaculation

Published: Oct 21 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Can you give me more information on what kinds of toys might be useful when exploring female ejaculation? Please read the Intro to Female Ejaculation article before reading further, to get more basic information on G-spot and T-Zone stimulation and female ejaculation. That said, most toys are going to provide more...

Women and anal pleasure

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I recently met my latest girlfriend, and she is a very experienced lover. She says she is especially attracted to a female butt. We have had beautiful sex together, but she wants to explore anal sex with me. I thought only men were interested in anal sex. I must say that every time my lover touches my anus it is quite...

About shaving

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I am noticing more and more women that I see in my medical practice have completely shaved off all of their pubic hair. I find this very arousing and interesting. However, I have never been brave enough to ask why women shave. I have dropped some hints to my wife but she does not seem interested. She is very concerned about...

Shaving Hints & Tips

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Can you tell me more about how to shave my pubic hair safely and comfortably? I’m particularly fond of hair and fuzz, so I asked for some shaving tips from shaving experts. Here’s what one expert says: "I am a 23-year-old female and have been shaving completely for about a year now. The initial reason was for my...

The Perfect Handjob

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My boyfriend really wants me to bring him to orgasm with my hands. The problem is, I really don’t know what to do! Can you give me some pointers so that I can please him? Just as I got this question, the following was posted to one of the e-mail lists to which I subscribe. So here is some great information on how to...

Should we try some exhibitionism?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I both have the fantasy of being watched while we are making love. She agreed that a female would be fine to be the "watcher", since I feel more comfortable with that than with another male. My question is, are some things left better to the imagination, or should we give this idea of being watched a try? ...

Finding new things to do on our dates

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I am at a loss for new dating ideas! My girlfriend and I have been dating for 15 months now. We do not live together, but we go out faithfully every Friday and Saturday night. It seems as if we have run out of places to go and things to do. We have done movies, dinner at a zillion places, coffee, concerts, sporting events...

Pornography and your sex life

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My husband and I have been together for four years, and married for three. Until about one year ago I was extremely sexually aggressive and most always aroused. I masturbated frequently, at least two or three times per week, and could become aroused at the drop of a hat. All of a sudden, all of my desire seemed to disappear...

How do erection rings work?

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Are cock rings a hoax? No, cock (erection) rings are definitely not a hoax. Here’s how they work. Erections are caused by blood traveling into the penis through blood vessels deep in the core of the penis and becoming "trapped" there for a time, then returning back out of the penis on the outer surface veins. Applying...

Resources for people new to BDSM

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My boyfriend and I are very open about all sexual desires that we have, and nothing is taboo - which is very nice! He is understanding and quick to respond to any interests that I introduce, and in certain ways he has been somewhat of a teacher, as he explored much of the kinky sex he is/was interested in before he met me. ...

Using double-ended dildos

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have tried double dildos for mutual pleasure, and it just doesn’t work. The dildo we bought was not firm enough to stay in place and could not move well with thrusting. Is there anything on the market that can provide mutual vaginal penetration for women without falling out? If so, please give me some...

Ways to expand beyond vibrations

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have multiple orgasms with my vibrator - as many as ten in 15 minutes - but have never had an orgasm with a man. I have tried different things to have an orgasm without my vibrator, but it seems that nothing works. My orgasms are incredibly intense, but still I wish to have one without plugging something in first. I...

Why watch erotic movies

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Why do people watch erotic movies? Many people, women and men, enjoy watching sexually explicit erotic movies. The reasons are as varied as their individual personalities. Here are some of the most common reasons: It excites you to watch other people have sex. This is a valid tool for both stimulating yourself...

Wanting anal penetration by my wife

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I am aroused by the thought of having my wife strap on a dildo and have anal sex with me. I’m afraid she’ll refuse and question my sexuality. How should I introduce her to the idea? First, I want to reassure you (and your wife, should she read this) that your interest in anal penetration is quite common, even for...

How do you 'deep throat'?

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have trouble taking my boyfriend’s entire penis into my mouth when I perform oral sex on him. I can’t seem to overcome the gag reflex. He is not overly large. I just can’t seem to take in very much (3-4", tops). Is there any way to overcome this reflex? Practice? Actually, you are completely normal in how much of your...

How can I best pleasure my partner

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Is the upper/inner thigh of a woman a sensitive or pleasurable spot to touch? Where are the best places to touch my girlfriend to give her the most pleasure? How can I pleasure my partner? This wonderful question is one of the ones we get asked most often. My answer is actually very simple: Ask your partner what feels...

How long do vibrators last?

Published: Oct 21 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, How long can I expect my vibrator to last? Vibrators will last anywhere from several months to several years, depending on how they are made, how much you use yours, how many delicate or complicated parts it has, and how you care for it. We do like to point out that the cost of a vibrator is not much greater than the cost...

Is it okay to have sex in water?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Is it possible to have sex in a pool? A few people have told me that you can get "stuck" from the suction from being under water. Is this true? Is underwater sex safe? It is possible, and safe, to have sex under water. There is not enough of a vacuum created to actually cause suction that would get the two of you stuck...

Dog Fantasies

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, When I was 10-12 years old, something strange happened to me. My mom worked nights so I was in my house by myself. I took a shower and walked in to my bedroom nude. I sat Indian-style on the floor to go through my clothes to find something to wear to school the next day. As I was sitting there my dog comes in my room and...

Taking care of hosiery

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, Can I do anything to keep my favorite hosiery in good shape? Yes, actually, there are things you can do to keep your hosiery perky. Always hand-wash hosiery in a smooth sink, with warm water and just a touch of clothes detergent liquid. Swish it in the sink, then rinse with cold water. Do not use Woolite to clean your...

What do I do with Warming Gels?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I see these gels that warm when you rub them into the skin and then get warmer when you blow on them. But you warn us not to use them on the vulva or in the vagina, so what do I do with them? These warming gels are intended to help you focus on more whole-body sensations. You can rub the gel into a specific area and it...

Anal Sex Guidelines

Published: Oct 14 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I want to explore anal sex, but we have a bunch of questions for you ... Ok, then let’s go question by question: Do we always need an enema before anal sex? No, that’s a personal decision, and there are health reasons NOT to do that. Enemas can damage the surface skin of the rectum.  Some people feel...

Should I let my wife spank me?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve been married for 13 years. My wife and I always argue about everything, and the last time we argued she said she was going to spank me. I thought she was joking, but it seams she is serious about it. She showed me a site on the net called "disciplinarily wife’s club". I looked at it and and laughed and laughed - it was...

New partner is too wide & too long!

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, i just found out my new lover is rather... frighteningly endowed. and most of my past lovers have mistaken me for a virgin. he’s patient and sweet, so he doesn’t mind waiting while i overcome fears, or trying other interesting things in the meantime. i enjoy performing oral sex and both vaginal and anal penetration......

Why don't you carry handcuffs?

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I are looking to live out a naughty police officer fantasy, but we can’t seem to find any metal handcuffs on your website. You carry a lot of different restraints, but why no handcuffs? There are a few reasons why we don’t stock handcuffs or encourage their use. The main reason being SAFETY, SAFETY, SAFETY!...

My partner is too long.

Published: Oct 8 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I love my partner dearly, but his penis is too long and intercourse is actually pretty painful at times due to the depth of penetration. Is there something we can do that would keep him from penetrating me so deeply? This is a common question and causes a lot of distress between men and women when it happens. There’s...

How to clean your toys

Published: Mar 20 2014
Dear AWT Pleasure Specialists, What’s the best way to keep my toys clean? I’ve seen "toy cleaner" advertised - do I need to buy any special products to keep my toys clean? With good care and reasonable use, your toys should last for quite a while. To protect yourself and those you love, consider the following cleaning suggestions. Plastic...

Othercourse

Published: Feb 9 2011
 Download a free PDF version of this brochure   Othercourse--what is it?   Othercourse is creative sex play that is not limited to, or focused on intercourse. It can include any sexual activities you and your partner enjoy, and can lead to anything you both agree to. It can be the first course, the last course, the main course...

Seniors & BDSM

Published: Aug 27 2010
Dear Sex Counselor: I enjoy sensation play and dominance/submission games with my partner, but sometimes we wonder whether this will be safe, or if we'll even be interested, when we're in the later part of our lives. What do you think? Kinkster ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------...

Micropenis

Published: Aug 8 2012
A close friend of mine has been dating a wonderful guy for a few months.  She likes him and they get along well everywhere except in bed.  He has a very small penis - as in micropenis small - and she both doesn't know how to talk to him about it and doesn't know what to do even if she could.  She's asked my help in finding...

The Myth of the Magic Button: The G, A, & U "Spots" Explained

Published: Aug 5 2014
Many of us have seen bright headlines in magazines that claim to teach you how to find a magical "spot" on you or your partner's body that will give them "mind-blowing" orgasms like they've never had before. While it's true that each individual often has many paths to orgasm and that, depending on the path used, orgasms can feel different from...

How to do Kegels

Published: Mar 21 2016
Pelvic floor exercise tools act as biofeedback tools and help you know if and when you are contracting your pelvic floow muscles correctly. Most of them sit very close to the muscles you’re going to be contracting (your pelvic floor muscles), and when you lift those muscles you can feel the tool "lift" up inside you. This lets you know you’re...

What is vaginismus?

Published: Oct 7 2008
Dear Sex Counselor, I have trouble with any kind of vaginal penetration. It’s like there is a wall inside the opening of my vagina, and whether it’s my doctor trying to do an exam or my partner trying to pleasure me with vaginal penetration, nothing can get in and it hurts when we try. What’s going on? When a woman experiences a closure of...

Blood pressure medications, erectile function, and alternatives to intercourse

Published: May 17 2006
Dear Sex Counselor, About six years ago, I developed high blood pressure. My physician put me on beta blockers. You know what they do to a man’s virility. Anyhow, over the first three years, I saw a steadily decreasing ability to have sex with my wife. At the end of three years, I was so frustrated and embarrassed at my attempts that I quit...

Rheumatoid Arthritis and Sexuality

Published: Mar 29 2011
Q: Dear Sex Counselor, I am living with rheumatoid arthritis, and the pain and fatigue that I experience can make sexual intimacy difficult or impossible. Is there anything I can do to improve my sex life? __________________________________________________________________ Chronic pain and fatigue can make you feel like your sex life is over,...

Pelvic Floor Therapy

Published: Nov 16 2015
Why see a pelvic floor therapist? Many pelvic floor conditions can be managed and healed without surgery. Seeing a physical therapist (PT) or an occupational therapist (OT) who is trained as a pelvic floor therapist may help you better understand your symptoms and design a personalized program to help alleviate your pelvic discomfort or pain...