Ask The Sex Counselor

Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve entered menopause and I’ve noticed that my libido is not what it used to be. Are there things I can do to get it revved up again? Yes, it’s true - there are natural changes that happen with our libido when our hormonal balance changes at menopause. Libido, or the desire to be sexual, takes practice to happen easily,...

Dear Sex Counselor I’ve read your Q&A about orgasms without vibrators and I’m wondering if you could suggest some other options. I have spent a number of hours today reading about female ejaculation and orgasms, both manually and electronically achieved. I found out that I "wet" during orgasm the first time I used a vibrator at 17. I had...

Here is a PDF file of our poster showing the effects of cancer on sexuality, and what you can do to counteract them. Reclaiming Sexuality After Cancer Poster

Download a free PDF version of this brochure How do I reclaim my sexual self after cancer treatment? Sexuality, including sexual function and the psychological aspects of sexual health, are affected in almost everyone who goes through cancer treatment. The diagnosis & treatment of cancer often result in profound changes for both the...

Dear Sex Counselor, My child is growing up fast. Could you recommend some books that give good information and advice about changing bodies that would be appropriate, understandable and fun for a teen? There are many different books available that talk frankly, openly and respectfully to kids, male and female, about what to expect as they...

Dear Sex Counselor,I have twin daughters who are six years old. They are smart, happy, very well-adjusted children. My husband and I are very much in love and offer them a loving, supportive home. My question is this: Ever since they were very small they have "humped". Before bed they would lay there and gyrate like they were...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have recently discovered that my wife of ten years is masturbating with a vibrator. For myself it was a crushing blow. I asked her what I had done wrong, but she said nothing. I had always thought that our sex life was great - she even told me that she had never had an orgasm before until she was with me. This has sent...

Dear Sex Counselor, I'm not certain if I'm asking a question, so much as asking for insight. I don't believe I was a victim of physical sexual abuse, but wonder if perhaps I've been a victim psychologically. I don't know how to find the source of this bothersome mind process, if there is a source, or if I should be concerned about it in the...

Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have decided to wait until we are married to have sexual intercourse. We are both virgins, and we are wondering if we were to have anal sex, would it affect her virginity in any way? Will I be considered to be "losing my virginity" also? The answer really depends on how you decide to define virginity....

Dear Sex Counselor, My husband wants a threesome and I don't. I am a happily married woman. My husband wants me to bring a woman into our bedroom, for me to have sex with. I have no burning desire to do this, and I am very uncomfortable with the entire thing. This is a fantasy that he has had for a very long time, and he sometimes asks me to...

Dear Sex Counselor, As a step-parent, what responsibilities do I have to teach my teenage step-daughters about sex? I just married a woman with 11- and 13-year-old daughters. I have two sons, and know absolutely nothing about girls. The girls seem to be sexually active - their talk, dress and companions indicate that. Is that possible at this...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have a body-image problem that I'm having a hard time getting over. I'm wondering if you know how common it is for women to be "really" hairy. Often times I feel like a "freak" because of all the body hair I have, especially in my pubic area (between my butt cheeks, around my anus, and even around my nipples ... Aghhh!)....

Dear Sex Counselor, Do all women really have some "miracle" lover hidden somewhere in their past, or is it just fun to make a man feel inadequate? I recently broke up with my girlfriend and I must say, the relationship left me feeling quite inadequate. One of my biggest problems was that she never had an orgasm with me during intercourse. Yes,...

Dear Sex Counselor,I'd like to believe that I'm normal when I say that I truly love the sight and smell of women's feet. I love the way they look in heels and nylons and so on. I feel I have no one to share this beautiful "other" part of the female anatomy. Don't misunderstand me - I love every part of the female anatomy, but I can...

Dear Sex Counselor, I'm bisexual and my husband doesn't know. I'm wondering how many are in the same situation? I love my husband dearly but feel like I need the love of a woman, too. I'm scared to do so, though, and wouldn't even know how or where to start. Any advice would be appreciated. From our experience in our store, and via...

Dear Sex Counselor, How can we have more excitement in our marriage? My wife and I are both 44 years old and have been married for 21 years. We make love about two to three times a month, usually on weekends when she is "in the mood". She usually resists my overtures. Our sex is usually hot, but we don't have it often enough for my temperament...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have always liked to be tied up. I think its a real turn-on. I do not know how to broach this subject with my boyfriend. I would be embarrassed to tell him this. We have an extremely hot sexual relationship right now with very few inhibitions. Is there any way I can hint at this without saying it outright? I assure you...

Dear Sex Counselor, Lately our sex life has gotten a bit dull, and I'm thinking of surprising my partner with some new sex toys. What do you think? That depends on what you and your partner have talked about up to this point. If you've never talked about sex toys, and you surprise your partner with a sex toy, then you may be in for an...

Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have awesome sex, but I am terrified to try new things with her! I ask her what she likes, or what she would like and I never really get a straight answer. How do I approach this? How can I get over this fear? I think I am afraid of her rejecting my ideas and advances. It's understandable to be afraid...

Dear Sex Counselor, My stats are as follows. I've been in a relationship for four years and counting, I'm heterosexual, and we're both very sexual and very attuned to one another's needs. We have few, if any, inhibitions. Sounds perfect, right? In most ways it is. However, I find that as a woman I'm faced with a conflict between my...

Dear Sex Counselor, I'm single but in a committed relationship. Sometimes, during our sexual intimacy, I need (but I don't tell) him to stimulate me more, and he doesn't do it. This makes me frustrated. How can I make him more sensitive to my needs? The best way is to tell him. Do so gently, and make sure he knows what he does that you do...

Dear Sex Counselor,I'm a 19 year old woman. I'm attractive and have had two relationships with girls. I find myself attracted to a girlfriend but don't know how to tell her without ruining our friendship. I find myself dressing sexy for her, but she is not responding. Please help. You've asked a really great question! Many of us find it really...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am 13 and I am a virgin ... sort of. Last summer my best girlfriend and I started doing something I feel "funny" about. We have talked about boys for years but have never tried anything. One night on a sleepover last summer, we practiced kissing each other, pretending to kiss a boy. She said we were "practicing our...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have recently begun a relationship with a female. We have met in person only a few times but have talked for months over the computer. We are very attracted to each other. She is coming to visit me in a week and will be staying the night, as she lives an hour and a half away. I have never been with a woman but am quite...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am a generally shy person who has trouble making amorous sounds when my husband and I make love. Part of it is from my upbringing, where I often had to be quiet (long story), and I'm sure that living in a tiny L.A. apartment doesn't help, either. I actually hold my sounds in to the point that I get headaches. Can you...

Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have sex at least seven to ten times a week. Sometimes we even have sex that many times in one day. We have only been together for together for 3.5 months. This is my first relationship; however, my girlfriend has been involved in serious relationships before. (She is 20 and I am 18.) We are both college...

Dear Sex Counselor, Is sexual desire and the ability to try new things based partly on how you were raised and what you saw of your parents' love life (like the smooching, hand holding, hugging)? I understand that some of this desire thing is built-in, but is some of it learned? I have been married to the same woman for 18+ years, and she...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am only recently beginning to explore my own sexuality, in terms of my REAL needs and desires, not the things I used to believe I should want. I am in a relationship with a man who has a great deal more experience than I, which I have found intimidating in the past. He has always given me the impression that he is very...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am the half-time mother to a 14 year old boy. He has been accessing pornography on the internet. I enjoy porn myself and his father and I used it together during our marriage. I shared this with him and cautioned against the internet for safety reasons and because a lot of porn out there does not represent average anatomy...

A woman’s first time having penetrative sex or vaginal intercourse is often an experience filled with fear and anxiety, primarily due to the lack of quality information on what to expect and how to prepare for this important first. So, here’s some practical advice and knowledge on the subject to clear up some of the confusion. First and...

Many parents notice that kids have an awareness and often curiosity about bodies and touch as early as they notice other aspects of their world and themselves. We know that these first experiences of exploration and understanding are important to children’s development of healthy body image, feelings and ideas about safety, and also their...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure What is the Pelvic Floor? The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that forms a supportive sling in the lower pelvis. This sling, made up of 14 different muscles arranged in three layers, attaches to the pelvic bones. In a woman’s body, the pelvic floor muscles surround the urethra, vaginal opening...

Click here to download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Dr. Myrtle, What is ED? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Erectile Dysfunction (ED) in men is defined as an inability to achieve and maintain a penile erection sufficient for penetration....

Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, Why should I masturbate? Do you have suggestions of things I might try? Self pleasure, also known as masturbation, specifically refers to touching yourself sexually in a way that feels good. There is no one right way to masturbate, and as long as it doesn’t hurt, there’s...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Dr Myrtle, I have many questions about my body and sexuality in this post-delivery time. Help! Postpartum Sexual Health Issues How can I heal my perineum? Many women experience damage to the perineum (the area between the vaginal opening and the anus) during delivery. Here are some...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Dr. Myrtle, I’m interested in seeing my own cervix. Could you tell me how to perform a cervical exam on myself? Benefits of Cervical Self-examination There are many benefits to examining your own vulva and cervix. By examining yourself regularly, you can gain a sense of what your body...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure version. Dear Dr. Myrtle, Try as I might, I can’t seem to last as long as I’d like to. How can I prolong sexual penetration without coming? In books and movies, our culture glorifies the mad, passionate rush to intercourse as the ultimate sexual experience.  Unfortunately, frenzied sexual...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Sex Counselor, I just bought my first vibrator. It seems like it could be a lot of fun, but I have no idea what to do with it! How can I experiment to find what I like best? Am I going to get addicted to it and no longer enjoy other stimulation? Congratulations on buying your first vibrator...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Sex Counselor, I feel like there are lots of messages about sexuality being pushed my way, and it’s hard to sort them all out. How can I know what is really "healthy" sexuality, and learn to develop my own sexuality in a positive way? Ah, sex. We joke about it and use it to sell everything...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Dr. Myrtle, I don’t have orgasms. What can I do? This is a very common question with some straightforward answers, yet many women can’t find enough information about their bodies to learn how to give themselves an orgasm. Often we expect our partners to know how to stimulate us, or think...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Dr Myrtle, I have a WHOLE bunch of questions about being sexual while I’m pregnant. Can you give me some detailed information about how to enjoy sex during pregnancy? Pregnancy is a time in which your body and your personal roles may shift dramatically. These changes can transform your view...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure. Dear Sex Counselor, I hear the word "libido" used a lot. What is it, exactly? If my libido isn’t as frisky as I want it to be, what can I do? We talk about libido a lot:  “He has a high libido;” “I don’t have any libido.”  We’re usually referring to someone’s “sex drive” or level of...

 Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, Why should I masturbate? Do you have suggestions of things I might try? Self-pleasure, also known as masturbation, specifically refers to touching yourself sexually in a way that feels good.  There is no right way to masturbate, and as long as it doesn’t hurt, there...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure What is the Pelvic Floor? The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that forms a supportive sling in the lower pelvis. This sling, made up of 14 different muscles arranged in three layers, attaches to the pelvic bones. In a man’s body, these muscles surround the urethra, the area beneath the...

Here you will find the Igniting Intimacy after Cancer power point. Here you will find several exercise descriptions.  

Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve never told anyone before, but I was sexually abused as a child. It happened when I was around 7 or 8 years old. I’m 30 now, and some of the abuse my father did to me I can recall like it happened five minutes ago, but sometimes I have a hard time recalling. It’s really fuzzy like I dreamed it happened,...

Dear Sex Counselor, About three months I was looking through my mom’s dresser - looking at old photos and letters, you know - stuff like that. I found something that shocked me, scared made, and almost made me cry. It was a letter my mom wrote to a man that I found out later lived with her family when she was a young girl. The letter talked...

Dear Dr. Myrtle, I enjoy nipple clamps (a lot!), but I worry about causing damage. Can you tell me how long I can leave them on, how tight is safe, and what I should watch for? Nipple clamps increase sensation in two main ways: Because they are clamped on, they cause continuous pressure signals to be sent to your brain. They...

Dear Sex Counselor, I see quite a few books on orgasms for women here...how do I choose? Contrary to popular belief, orgasms don’t just “happen” to many women. In many cases, it’s hard to know where to begin to learn about your body and what brings you pleasure. Whether you’ve never had an orgasm before, feel as though you can’t have them...

There are a variety of possibilities to turn to from here, depending on whether you are most interested in the "erotic romance" genre--stories focusing on explicit erotic scenes in the context of a romantic story (or short stories)--or in the "BDSM erotica" genre, which focuses on a relationship featuring dominance & submission/sensation...

Dear Sex Counselor, There are so many erotic books out there...how do I choose some that are likely to be fun for me to read? The erotic fiction we carry can be split into several categories. First, there are compilations of short stories, written with specific erotic themes and content, including distinct plots and character development....

Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, I’m thinking about getting a vibrator, but I don’t know how to pick one.  Why do women use them? How do I know which one is right for me? P.S. I’ve heard vibrators can be addicting. Is this true? Vibrators can be used for all sorts of things: to enhance your pleasure...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, I’m a little curious about dildos. Why would someone want to use one? How can I choose one that’s the right shape and size for me? Dildos are the oldest sex toys known to humans, with the earliest on record dating back to 5000 BC. Dildos are available in many shapes and sizes...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve seen harnesses on your website. What are they, and how are they used? How can I choose one that’s right for me? Harnesses are used to hold a dildo against the wearer’s body. Together, a harness and dildo (a.k.a. “strap-on”) can be worn by a woman or man to penetrate a...

Dear Sex Counselor, I see a lot of different games to play with my partner, but I can’t seem to choose. Can you help? If you want to start an intimate conversation with your partner, but don't exactly know how to start.  Having a game handy like the, Intimate 4Play game, might be just what you need to get you talking, sharing, laughing...

Dear Sex Counselor, There are an awful lot of erotic movies out there. Are there any differences? How can I choose from the ones you carry? For many of us, watching other people have sex can spark ideas, fantasies, and arousal to help us make our sex lives more interesting. The trick is to find something that is fun and hot to watch, without...

Dear Sex Counselor, How do I know which massage oils or creams are best for me? Thinking of a nice massage? A nice warm room, comfy sheets and towels, dim lights, soothing music, a bowl of warm water to heat your massage oil, and you’re ready for your massage. But do you ever feel overwhelmed when trying to select just the right product...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, I am interested in getting a sex toy specifically designed for a man, but I don’t know where to begin. What are my choices? There are several different types of sex toys made specifically for men. At A Woman’s Touch, you’ll find men’s toys that fit into four broad categories:...

Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve finally worked up the courage to buy myself a vibrator. I’ve never used one before, and I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the choices. Can you give me any guidelines? I want my first vibrator to be one that I’ll like. Congratulations on buying your first vibrator! I understand how overwhelming it can be to look at all...

Dear Sex Counselor, I want to start doing Kegel exercises, and I see you have several Kegel exercise "tools" available on your site. How do I choose the one that’s best for me? First, congratulations on starting to do your Kegels! Strong pelvic floor muscles have lots of benefits, from better orgasms to a decreased risk of incontinence. If...

Dear Sex Counselor, I’m interested in learning more about the Kama Sutra. You have a lot of books on the topic; how do I know which one is right for me? Ah, the Kama Sutra. So mysterious, so magical. Visions of dusky bodies twined like creepers around tree trunks and murmuring sweet, accented nothings. Yes, the Kama Sutra and related...

Dear Sex Counselor, My partner wants to see what it’s like to be tied up during sex. I’m open to the idea, but I’m kind of nervous and I need some more information first! I don’t know anything about tying knots, and I’m not really into that whole domination thing...how can I make this work for me and my partner? Using restraint during sex...

Dear Sex Counselor, I’m curious about bondage, and I heard that you should read about it before you start doing it. With all the bondage books out there, how do I pick the one that will be best for me? All of the bondage books we carry will give you enough information to begin your exploration of bondage. However, they each have their own...

Dear Sex Counselor, Can you recommend any books that give moms or moms-to-be information about maintaining a healthy sex life, both during and after pregnancy? Maintaining a healthy sex life is important to many moms and moms-to-be. Pregnant women and women who have recently given birth often find themselves wondering what’s "healthy" or ...

Dear Sex Counselor, There are so many harnesses ... how do I choose one that will fit me? In general, you should measure your hips or waist (wherever you want to wear the harness) and use that measurement to choose a harness that fits you. Our harnesses are sized as follows:   Hip Harnesses Hip or Waist...

Dear Sex Counselor, I like to give my partner whole-body massages, and they sometimes lead to intercourse. I know oils don’t make good sexual lubricants (and that they can make holes in condoms). Are there any products I can use for massage and for sexual intercourse? It’s a dilemma. We don’t recommend using massage oil on the genitals,...

Dear Sex Counselor, I see some different remote-controlled wearable vibrators on your website. How do they compare in terms of quality, loudness, variability of sensation and wearability for a 1X size woman? On the one that has straps instead of a panty, is it difficult to keep it properly positioned? Of the remote-controlled items that we...

Dear Sex Counselor, What the difference between using a cock ring or a simple rubber / elastic band? Won’t a rubber band do just as well? A rubber band is not adjustable, and also can cut into the skin in an uncomfortable way. Most commercial erection rings have rounded edges, or wider bands so that they don’t cut into the skin and cause...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have a very small hip size (24")... its hard for me to find a strap-on harness that will work. I am looking for one that will fit me "perfectly". Do you have any that will fit me? There are a few that could work: The Pleasure Principle is a very adjustable harness that will go to the size you need, and offers...

Dear Dr. Myrtle, What can you tell me about the female condom? Structural Details of the Female Condom The female condom is made up of a long polyurethane sheath that lines the walls of the vagina and is anchored at each end by flexible polyurethane rings. The ring at the closed end rests over the cervix (like a diaphragm or cervical...

Dear Dr. Myrtle, I use lubricant sometimes: either KY jelly or Vaseline. Is there something wrong with those? There is definitely something wrong with using any oil-based or petroleum product in the vagina. Vaseline is an oil based petroleum product that is very difficult to naturally clear out of the vaginal space. It can cause something...

Dear Dr. Myrtle, Can’t I use oil as a sexual lubricant? Maybe. Oils are lubricants, and some people use them as sexual lubricants without any problem whatsoever. As long as you know yourself, your needs, and the potential issues involved, you may be able to use oils sexually. But before you do, consider all of the facts. The Oily Debate ...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Dr. Myrtle, I see ads for personal lubricants but they don’t explain much. What should I know about a lubricant before I buy one? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lubricants increase pleasure. Your genital...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I have beautiful sex together, and we are curious about exploring anal sex. I must say that every time my lover touches my anus, it is quite exciting. Do you have any suggestions? All of us have sensitive nerve endings around the anus and rectum that can produce...

Download a free PDF version of this brochure Dear Dr. Myrtle, I want to protect myself, but it seems weird or geeky to whip out some latex. How can I make using condoms more fun? Condoms and other barriers (such as gloves and dams) allow people to explore their sexuality more safely. If you’ve decided to be sexual with someone else,...

Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I would like to get a sexy game to play together, but I'm not sure how to choose one. Can you help? Games are a great way to have fun with a partner while discovering or introducing new ideas to your erotic play. Here’s a guide to help you choose a sexy game or two to make your playtime more exciting. We...

The popular book trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey, included a mention of some wearable balls (named Ben Wa Balls in the book) that apparently caused great pleasure to the woman wearing them. Whether you've been reading erotica that mentions Ben Wa Balls, looking for something fun to wear when you are out and about, or wondering how you can strengthen...

Dear Sex Counselor, I really like it when my partner plays with my nipples, and I've been thinking of bringing a toy or two to the bedroom. But there are so many nipple toys on your website! Where should I start? Our nipple toys can be divided into two main categories – clamps and suction toys. We also have a variety of breast and nipple...

Dr. Myrtle, How can I figure out which condom is best for my needs? We've put together a handy guide to give you as much information as possible about the variety of condoms we carry.  Download our condom comparison chart inside our Condoms & Barriers Brochure. You'll get exact information about the length, width, color,...

Dr. Myrtle, Your descriptions of lubricants are helpful, but do you have a chart or anything so I can compare them side by side? We're so glad you asked! We've put together this handy lubricant comparison chart that gives you information about the consistency (thickness or thinness), ingredients, taste, moisturizing properties, and other...

So you want to be more green. You want to lessen your impact on our planet and choose products that contribute to this goal. You've heard all about how to "go green" with your car, your home, your food choices...but now you're wondering, what about pleasure toys? How can you reduce your carbon footprint while pursuing pleasure? How do you find...

I am wondering how I can tell the difference between the different instructional movies you have for sale. Can you help? ___________________________________________________________________ We have divided our instructional films into several categories to help make your purchasing decisions easier. Instructional films with a more ...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am looking for a DVD on Positions, but I notice you offer a lot of different options.  How do I choose? Instructional films on positions are excellent resources to learn new ways to broaden your sexual repertoire, help you spark conversations on what you like, as well as simply being visually and sensually arousing...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have been with the same man for eight years, with an affair or two in between (not hidden; he is also comfortable w/my bi-ness). However, I just am not sexually excited by him or attracted to him at all. In fact, he kind of grosses me out. The rest of our partnership is okay - supportive and loving. What to do? Any ideas?...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am a 42 yr old gay woman who has been in a three year relationship with a 41 yr old woman who is quite active. She is involved in a tennis league and plays regularly, but more importantly, she is a runner and trains extremely hard as she is training for the NYC Marathon this year. I am an active cyclist and will workout at...

Dear Sex Counselor, I suffer from a low level of sexual desire toward my husband, and it is not because I don’t find him attractive. Please help me find a way to improve or increase my cognitive sense of desire. One of the more destructive myths that floats around out there is that sexual desire should come automatically, and should persist...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am postmenopausal - I have vaginal penetration issues that are severe, tearing and extreme dryness as well as progressive desensitization. I am looking for ways to renew vaginal tissue and increase elasticity. Where do I begin...massage vibrator? moisturizer? kegel exerciser? estriol creams? You want to begin with...

Dear Sex Counselor I have a long-distance relationship. I probably only see my boyfriend maybe one week out of the month if I’m lucky. Anyway, he likes to have phone sex. I’d never done this before, so at first I was uncomfortable with it. I had also never masturbated by myself before. Now that I have the hang of it, and I know what he wants to...

Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve never had an orgasm with my partner. What do I do? This is a common question with some straightforward answers; yet many women can’t find enough information about their bodies to know how to give themselves an orgasm. Often we expect our partners to know how to stimulate us, or we think that we should easily have...

Dear Sex Counselor, The subject of orgasms has been a very touchy subject for me. I get embarrassed when it is mentioned to me. The reason for this is that I have never had an orgasm. The few men that I have slept with begin to wonder why I cannot orgasm. In the past they have never asked me about it, but when our sex life came to an end I...

Dear Sex Counselor, I know that orgasms are clitorally produced, but my clitoris does not seem to be very sensitive. I have found that I can not reach an orgasm unless my boyfriend and I are very rough. It is often difficult to reach an orgasm at all, and I am starting to get a little bit frustrated. I also feel that my boyfriend may be getting...

Dear Sex Counselor, My current girlfriend cums faster when I stimulate her actual pussy. Her clit is hard to find. It is small. Is an orgasm from the clit the same as an orgasm from the pussy? Orgasms are orgasms, regardless of what you stimulate to achieve them. Orgasms happen partly in the head and partly from actual stimulation; in fact,...

Dear Sex Counselor, If you masturbate (and ejaculate) at least once a day will it cause things not to feel good when you have sex and oral sex? Will it make it harder to ejaculate? For some people, it won’t matter if you masturbate to ejaculation on a daily basis. For some people, it actually slows down the time it takes to orgasm in a...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am a 45-year-old reasonably healthy woman, a mother of five and in shape. I am finally writing this because I have never ever had an orgasm during sex. I have tried everything, but the only way I orgasm is to use a vibrator. I learned to do this by reading a book by Lonnie Barbach called "For Yourself". The exercises...

Dear Sex Counselor, I’m 40 years old, reasonably orgasmic, but there’s a catch: I can only come if I masturbate in a rather strange way. I must have learned it as a young child, but I can only reach orgasm if I kind of "hump" the end of a bed, sofa, or other kind of soft/kind of firm surface. It usually takes quite a while, too. I am too...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am an 18-year-old woman and have been masturbating regularly since I was 14. I have been able to bring myself close to orgasm with fingers and then again with a vibrator, but I haven’t had an orgasm. I’ve tried using a massaging showerhead to stimulate myself, but nothing seems to work. Is there any other techniques, etc....

Dear Sex Counselor, I have been with one man for all my sex life. I am currently engaged to him. We have been having sex for over a year now. He was my first and will be my only partner. In the beginning, he knew more than I did, as I was a virgin and he was not. From the start I was a multi-orgasmic woman, and my orgasms were very powerful....

Dear Sex Counselor, When my boyfriend and I are just playing, he can have multiple orgasms that can last for a while. I have a very hard time achieving an orgasm, and when I do it doesn’t last very long so I never really get to enjoy it. So I was wondering if there was anything I could do to make my orgasms longer and more frequent? One way...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have trouble orgasming unless I use my vibrator (plug in, medium size) and lately I’ve found that I can’t orgasm unless I am using it. Is it possible that I could have damaged the nerves in my clitoris somehow?? I am happily married, love to masturbate, have no problem telling my husband where and how to touch me, but...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have heard that a man - just like a woman - can have multiple orgasms before he comes to a full ejaculation. If this is true, I would like to know how can I achieve it in order for me to last longer in bed with my mate and be able to share in an orgasm together simultaneously. Yes, it’s true that men can learn to hold...

Click here to download a pdf brochure about Masturbation for Women. Dear Sex Counselor, I was raised to believe that masturbation is an "evil" and "unholy" thing. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that that, of course, isn’t true; but now my problem is that I want to try it, but I really am not sure of what to do. I am a virgin and...

Dear Sex Counselor Won’t using a vibrator desensitize me to "real" sex? Will I get addicted to using one and not be able to have an orgasm without using a vibrator? We wonder whether this myth got started at the same time as the one about growing hair on your palms if you masturbated too much. A vibrator may allow you to have an orgasm more...

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Dear Sex Counselor, I’m curious about packing. What is it, and why would I want to do it? I’m also curious about how to choose a packing dildo, and how to keep it in place. What can you tell me? What is packing? Packing refers to using a dildo or other object to create a penis-like bulge in the pants. Special soft dildos (called packing...

Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve heard that glass toys are the ultimate in sex toys. I’ve also heard raves about stainless steel and lucite. What is it about them that make them so great? It’s true...stainless steel, glass and lucite make unusual and delightful toys. These materials are used primarily in toys that are used for...

  Let the sparks fly this February! Whether you want to seduce your honey on the sly with a sexy coupon, stock up on lube for a sensual marathon, warm up with a hot new erotica collection, or try a little bit of everything, we’ve gathered some ideas to help you get started. The Hot Quickie Roll the Playful Dice and see which body part...

Dear Sex Counselor, I keep hearing about the dangers of parabens, but it seems like so many products contain them, including lubricants. Are parabens really that bad? Should I avoid parabens just to be on the safe side? A Woman's Touch is dedicated to the sexual health and pleasure of our customers.  Because we promote knowledge of sexual...

Dear Sex Counselor, I see that some of your lubricants contain propylene glycol. Isn't that what antifreeze is made of?! Is it safe to use? A Woman's Touch is dedicated to the sexual health and pleasure of our customers.  Because we promote knowledge of sexual health we are frequently asked about the ingredients used in the products we...

Delicate garments, especially silk, require a bit of extra care when cleaning. This isn't difficult or time-consuming, and will help keep your garment looking great for longer. Here are some tips: A. Please read carefully all manufacturer's tags and accompanying instructions related to care and cleaning of your garment. B. In general, any...

Dear Sex Counselor Need advice. Am 17.5 years of age, and going with a "friend". We’re not serious enough to consider marriage yet. I’m only a junior in high school, but I’m told I am "very mature" for my age. Anyhow, my girlfriend and I have safe sex - she told me, "Friends can do this", and I see no problem with that. Last week, I went home...

Dear Sex Counselor, I need input - feel very ignorant. I have been married for more than ten years. I have kids and what I think is a wonderful husband. I have girlfriends from work, and we have every Wednesday as Girls Night Out. We go to a local inn for a karaoke sing along. Recently, an extremely handsome guy from work came out with us. He...

Dear Sex Counselor, Recently, my husband had an indiscretion with a girl he knows and has known for several months. He did not go all the way with her, but they did make out and do some heavy petting while they were both naked. He says he was really drunk and doesn’t even remember everything. He also says that he loves me and has no feelings...

Dear Sex Counselor, I need to know whether this is appropriate behavior. When I was in third grade my dad did something that seems inappropriate to me, but maybe it’s not. One time when I was home alone with my dad he asked me if I had ever seen a man’s penis before. I said I hadn’t, and then he asked me if I would like to see...

Dear Sex Counselor, I think I’m bisexual, but I am not sure. I am attracted to men and women, I know that; but I only want one lover at a time. Is it possible to be bisexual and monogamous? My friend says that if you are bisexual, it means you are lovers with both men and women at the same time. That doesn’t seem right. Bisexuality and...

Dear Sex Counselor, I just found out my daughter is a prostitute and I’m not sure how to handle it. I have been using search engines to find anything related to the topic. I found and read your e-mail replies. I respect your work very much. Here’s the problem: I have four children, all are in college or just out. My wife and I...

Dear Sex Counselor, I need your advice. I’m married to great man, and I love him only. I’ve been married now for six years. He keeps insisting on starting family. I want that too, but he and his family have an inheritable disease. I’ve seen what this disease did to his grandfather before he died, and to his father, and now to...

Dear Sex Counselor I am married to my school-girl sweetheart. She’s the only girl I ever went with, and I am the only guy she went with before we got married six years ago. We have two little ones. As soon as last one was born, she got a sitter and went to work in a large office. She developed many girlfriends there, and started going out...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have been married for 16 years, and I’m 36 years old. I have three little ones now in school. We want nicer home, so my husband wanted me to go to work in a factory. This was my first time out into the working world. I met a very sexy man, and three weeks ago we started having sex during "lunch hour" on the night shift. He...

Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now, and she still lives with her ex even though they have been broken up for over a year! My girlfriend allows her ex to control every aspect of her life. Often I feel like I’m in second place. I know my girlfriend loves me and I love her, but my heart breaks each...

Dear Sex Counselor, Is honesty always the best policy? I have found myself in a relationship situation that I’m not sure what to do with. I have been dating a woman for approximately four months, and we get along great. We are friends, which I think is important. We also have an understanding that we are able to date other people. Recently...

Dear Sex Counselor, I feel like my sex drive is too high. My girlfriend and I have been together for 18 months, and everything is okay apart from this problem. I want sex every day and get turned on too easily. She only wants it once or twice a week. My constant need is acting as a big turn-off for her, and it drives me crazy. Is there any way...

Dear Sex Counselor, How on earth do I raise the libido of my partner? I would like to make love three times a week, but we do it once a month. We have been together for three years, and we love each other very much. The frequency was a bit more in the beginning, but it has been like this for two years now. Something has got to give. I can only ...

Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I were getting it on good. I was attempting to kiss the nape of her neck and ear lobe. She got ticklish and giggled. I stroked her inner thigh (lightly). Goose bumps appeared on her thighs and legs - and, much to my annoyance, she giggled again! A few minutes before, she had warmed to my touch, and was...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have been married for 18 years, and I recently found some pictures in my husband’s e-mail of "She-Males". When I questioned him, I asked him if he was gay and he said NO. When I asked if he liked to wear women’s clothing, he said "maybe - I don’t know". He is in the Navy, so this was...

Dear Sex Counselor, I work with breast cancer patients and have some questions regarding cancer and sexuality/relationships. Can you tell me a bit about how breast cancer affects a long term relationship? How to discuss feelings about the diagnosis? What if she’s worried her partner will be turned off? What if s/he is turned off, or afraid to...

Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I are cruising through mid-life, and want to maintain a healthy sex life far into old age. How can we best take care of our bodies and our relationship so we can enjoy intimacy as we get older? We all go through changes as our bodies age -- some good and some more challenging. Luckily, there are plenty of...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am married for 9 years with a little one. My husband is never home and we have drifted apart emotionally and physically. Actually our sex life was never that good. I have gotten myself in a relationship with a very good friend. He will not tell me how he feels about me because he doesn’t want to be a scapegoat...

Dear Sex Counselor: How do I get over my man looking at porn when he masturbates? It makes me feel insignificant. Dear Feeling Insignificant, Thank you for your question. I have a couple of questions for you to consider as you think about your partner's relationship to porn. Does he masturbate instead of having sex with you? Or is it...

Dear Sex Counselor, I just got a vibrator for the first time and would like to know how to best use it. I am a single 22-year-old woman and I like it! I have only had orgasms during masturbation, although I have also slept with men. Two days ago I overcame my stupidity and went to a sex shop. It wasn’t as nice as yours (I was the only woman...

Dear Sex Counselor, Do things like "Spanish Fly" and other herbal supplements help people get aroused? Most supplements will not do anything to you, physically, to help you be aroused. The original Spanish Fly is actually toxic, and even in small quantities causes an intense urinary tract irritation that will lead to an infection in most...

Dear Sex Counselor, Do you have any suggestions for the best lubes to use during oral sex with men? Avoiding dry mouth at an inopportune moment has proven difficult. Yes, there are a few good choices for lubricants that can be used during oral sex with men. Some people prefer water-based lubricants for their mouth feel, and others like the...

Dear Sex Counselor, My partner tells me that I get too wet for him to feel enough sensation during intercourse. How can we resolve this issue? This is a problem for some men and women, particularly those who are used to quite a bit of friction during stimulation. Here are a couple of things you can do that might help. Take a couple...

Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve been slow at giving oral sex to women. Inhibitions? Taboos? I don’t know. I’m committed to pleasuring my lover that way. Any suggestions for helping me to overcome that? In addition to orally pleasuring my female partner, how do vibrators fit in? (pardon the pun)? Which do women find more pleasurable - good oral sex or...

Dear Sex Counselor, Hi! I love to perform cunnilingus and enjoy all the variety encountered in the female anatomy while doing so. Trouble is, I don’t get to practice it often enough and need refreshers and updated information to keep my skills current. My question is, can you recommend any good books on the subject, and do you know any new...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have been seriously involved with a man for the last eight years. During our love making, I sometimes talk about having sex with another woman to turn him on, but the truth is it really turns me on, too. I have never had an encounter with another woman, but it seems to be all I think about now. Should I act on this new...

Dear Sex Counselor, I’d like to give my male partner pleasure with my mouth, but I’m not sure what to do. Can you help? We’ve put together some suggestions for you, and I’m sure there are more ideas out there. If other people have tricks and techniques to share, send them to us, and we’ll add them to this answer. First and foremost: the...

Dear Sex Counselor, Can you give me more information on what kinds of toys might be useful when exploring female ejaculation? Please read the Intro to Female Ejaculation article before reading further, to get more basic information on G-spot and T-Zone stimulation and female ejaculation. That said, most toys are going to provide more...

Dear Sex Counselor, I recently met my latest girlfriend, and she is a very experienced lover. She says she is especially attracted to a female butt. We have had beautiful sex together, but she wants to explore anal sex with me. I thought only men were interested in anal sex. I must say that every time my lover touches my anus it is quite...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am noticing more and more women that I see in my medical practice have completely shaved off all of their pubic hair. I find this very arousing and interesting. However, I have never been brave enough to ask why women shave. I have dropped some hints to my wife but she does not seem interested. She is very concerned about...

Dear Sex Counselor, Can you tell me more about how to shave my pubic hair safely and comfortably? I’m particularly fond of hair and fuzz, so I asked for some shaving tips from shaving experts. Here’s what one expert says: "I am a 23-year-old female and have been shaving completely for about a year now. The initial reason was for my...

Dear Sex Counselor, My boyfriend really wants me to bring him to orgasm with my hands. The problem is, I really don’t know what to do! Can you give me some pointers so that I can please him? Just as I got this question, the following was posted to one of the e-mail lists to which I subscribe. So here is some great information on how to...

Dear Sex Counselor, I need some advice - fast! I am happily married but not happy with the sexual side of our relationship. I do everything I can to please my husband and to try to get him to show me some attention. When he does look my way, and we become intimate, he is done before I even get started! I have to resort to masturbation and my...

Dear Sex Counselor My wife has never been with another man. We have been happily married for eight years and enjoy a healthy sex life. However, her knowledge is limited, and I feel she needs to experience the talents of other men to broaden her sexual satisfaction - specifically, men with larger penises than myself (I am a thin 5"). She...

Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I both have the fantasy of being watched while we are making love. She agreed that a female would be fine to be the "watcher", since I feel more comfortable with that than with another male. My question is, are some things left better to the imagination, or should we give this idea of being watched a try? ...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am at a loss for new dating ideas! My girlfriend and I have been dating for 15 months now. We do not live together, but we go out faithfully every Friday and Saturday night. It seems as if we have run out of places to go and things to do. We have done movies, dinner at a zillion places, coffee, concerts, sporting events...

Dear Sex Counselor, My husband and I have been together for four years, and married for three. Until about one year ago I was extremely sexually aggressive and most always aroused. I masturbated frequently, at least two or three times per week, and could become aroused at the drop of a hat. All of a sudden, all of my desire seemed to disappear...

Dear Sex Counselor, Are cock rings a hoax? No, cock (erection) rings are definitely not a hoax. Here’s how they work. Erections are caused by blood traveling into the penis through blood vessels deep in the core of the penis and becoming "trapped" there for a time, then returning back out of the penis on the outer surface veins. Applying...

Dear Sex Counselor, My boyfriend and I are very open about all sexual desires that we have, and nothing is taboo - which is very nice! He is understanding and quick to respond to any interests that I introduce, and in certain ways he has been somewhat of a teacher, as he explored much of the kinky sex he is/was interested in before he met me. ...

Dear Sex Counselor, My girlfriend and I have tried double dildos for mutual pleasure, and it just doesn’t work. The dildo we bought was not firm enough to stay in place and could not move well with thrusting. Is there anything on the market that can provide mutual vaginal penetration for women without falling out? If so, please give me some...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have multiple orgasms with my vibrator - as many as ten in 15 minutes - but have never had an orgasm with a man. I have tried different things to have an orgasm without my vibrator, but it seems that nothing works. My orgasms are incredibly intense, but still I wish to have one without plugging something in first. I...

Dear Sex Counselor, Why do people watch erotic movies? Many people, women and men, enjoy watching sexually explicit erotic movies. The reasons are as varied as their individual personalities. Here are some of the most common reasons: It excites you to watch other people have sex. This is a valid tool for both stimulating yourself...

Dear Sex Counselor, My partner would like me to perform anal sex on him. I am willing but I have never done that before, and I am not sure how to proceed. Could you please give me some information on this? Here are our guidelines on anal sex for beginners. For more information, we highly recommend the books Anal Pleasure and Health by J....

Dear Sex Counselor, My husband and I are interested in exploring anal sex with a strap-on/double dildo combination. I read your answers to questions on anal sex but they did not provide the detail that I desire before proceeding with this new, and very different, sex play. Could you describe how to use a strap-on/double dildo for anal...

Dear Sex Counselor, I am aroused by the thought of having my wife strap on a dildo and have anal sex with me. I’m afraid she’ll refuse and question my sexuality. How should I introduce her to the idea? First, I want to reassure you (and your wife, should she read this) that your interest in anal penetration is quite common, even for...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have trouble taking my boyfriend’s entire penis into my mouth when I perform oral sex on him. I can’t seem to overcome the gag reflex. He is not overly large. I just can’t seem to take in very much (3-4", tops). Is there any way to overcome this reflex? Practice? Actually, you are completely normal in how much of your...

Dear Sex Counselor, Is the upper/inner thigh of a woman a sensitive or pleasurable spot to touch? Where are the best places to touch my girlfriend to give her the most pleasure? How can I pleasure my partner? This wonderful question is one of the ones we get asked most often. My answer is actually very simple: Ask your partner what feels...

Dear Sex Counselor, How long can I expect my vibrator to last? Vibrators will last anywhere from several months to several years, depending on how they are made, how much you use yours, how many delicate or complicated parts it has, and how you care for it. We do like to point out that the cost of a vibrator is not much greater than the cost...

Dear Sex Counselor, Is it possible to have sex in a pool? A few people have told me that you can get "stuck" from the suction from being under water. Is this true? Is underwater sex safe? It is possible, and safe, to have sex under water. There is not enough of a vacuum created to actually cause suction that would get the two of you stuck...

Dear Sex Counselor, Can I do anything to keep my favorite hosiery in good shape? Yes, actually, there are things you can do to keep your hosiery perky. Always hand-wash hosiery in a smooth sink, with warm water and just a touch of clothes detergent liquid. Swish it in the sink, then rinse with cold water. Do not use Woolite to clean your...

Dear Sex Counselor, I see these gels that warm when you rub them into the skin and then get warmer when you blow on them. But you warn us not to use them on the vulva or in the vagina, so what do I do with them? These warming gels are intended to help you focus on more whole-body sensations. You can rub the gel into a specific area and it...

Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I want to explore anal sex, but we have a bunch of questions for you ... Ok, then let’s go question by question: Do we always need an enema before anal sex? No, that’s a personal decision, and there are health reasons NOT to do that. Enemas can damage the surface skin of the rectum.  Some people feel...

Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve noticed that lately a lot of “warming” lubricants have shown up on the market. However, I can’t find any of these warming lubes on your site. Does A Woman’s Touch carry them? A Woman’s Touch does not carry any warming lubricants. Why? I’m so glad you asked! The key ingredient in the majority of the warming...

Dear Sex Counselor, I’ve been married for 13 years. My wife and I always argue about everything, and the last time we argued she said she was going to spank me. I thought she was joking, but it seams she is serious about it. She showed me a site on the net called "disciplinarily wife’s club". I looked at it and and laughed and laughed - it was...

Dear Sex Counselor, i just found out my new lover is rather... frighteningly endowed. and most of my past lovers have mistaken me for a virgin. he’s patient and sweet, so he doesn’t mind waiting while i overcome fears, or trying other interesting things in the meantime. i enjoy performing oral sex and both vaginal and anal penetration......

Dear Sex Counselor, My partner and I are looking to live out a naughty police officer fantasy, but we can’t seem to find any metal handcuffs on your website. You carry a lot of different restraints, but why no handcuffs? There are a few reasons why we don’t stock handcuffs or encourage their use. The main reason being SAFETY, SAFETY, SAFETY!...

Dear Sex Counselor, I love my partner dearly, but his penis is too long and intercourse is actually pretty painful at times due to the depth of penetration. Is there something we can do that would keep him from penetrating me so deeply? This is a common question and causes a lot of distress between men and women when it happens. There’s...

Dear Sex Counselor, I was recently diagnosed with vaginismus, which makes for painful or outright impossible vaginal penetration. My health care provider and I are currently working on a plan to help me overcome this issue. My partner is being very supportive about everything and we are trying to maintain intimacy through foreplay, but I feel...

Dear AWT Pleasure Specialists, What’s the best way to keep my toys clean? I’ve seen "toy cleaner" advertised - do I need to buy any special products to keep my toys clean? With good care and reasonable use, your toys should last for quite a while. To protect yourself and those you love, consider the following cleaning suggestions. Plastic...

 Download a free PDF version of this brochure   Othercourse--what is it?   Othercourse is creative sex play that is not limited to, or focused on intercourse. It can include any sexual activities you and your partner enjoy, and can lead to anything you both agree to. It can be the first course, the last course, the main course...

I am 61 years old and still sexually active with my partner who has some back problems.  During intercourse he is usually on top but occasionally wants me to be on top. I try but it seems like it's not a comfortable fit and I don't have the flexibility in my spine.  So that only lasts about a minute.  I of course want to give him...

Dear Sex Counselor: I enjoy sensation play and dominance/submission games with my partner, but sometimes we wonder whether this will be safe, or if we'll even be interested, when we're in the later part of our lives. What do you think? Kinkster ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------...

My partner and I attempted anal sex recently with lots of lube (or at least we thought so) and it was so painful, he wasn't able to get in.  Is this a physical problem? We used Liquid Silk but maybe need a different lube? I was sexually abused as a child (although not anally that I know of) but have had years of therapy and thought I had...

A close friend of mine has been dating a wonderful guy for a few months.  She likes him and they get along well everywhere except in bed.  He has a very small penis - as in micropenis small - and she both doesn't know how to talk to him about it and doesn't know what to do even if she could.  She's asked my help in finding...

Many of us have seen bright headlines in magazines that claim to teach you how to find a magical "spot" on you or your partner's body that will give them "mind-blowing" orgasms like they've never had before. While it's true that each individual often has many paths to orgasm and that, depending on the path used, orgasms can feel different from...

Pelvic floor exercise tools act as biofeedback tools and help you know if and when you are contracting your pelvic floow muscles correctly. Most of them sit very close to the muscles you’re going to be contracting (your pelvic floor muscles), and when you lift those muscles you can feel the tool "lift" up inside you. This lets you know you’re...

Dear Sex Counselor, I have trouble with any kind of vaginal penetration. It’s like there is a wall inside the opening of my vagina, and whether it’s my doctor trying to do an exam or my partner trying to pleasure me with vaginal penetration, nothing can get in and it hurts when we try. What’s going on? When a woman experiences a closure of...

Dear Sex Counselor, About six years ago, I developed high blood pressure. My physician put me on beta blockers. You know what they do to a man’s virility. Anyhow, over the first three years, I saw a steadily decreasing ability to have sex with my wife. At the end of three years, I was so frustrated and embarrassed at my attempts that I quit...

Q: Dear Sex Counselor, I am living with rheumatoid arthritis, and the pain and fatigue that I experience can make sexual intimacy difficult or impossible. Is there anything I can do to improve my sex life? __________________________________________________________________ Chronic pain and fatigue can make you feel like your sex life is over,...

Why see a pelvic floor therapist? Many pelvic floor conditions can be managed and healed without surgery. Seeing a physical therapist (PT) or an occupational therapist (OT) who is trained as a pelvic floor therapist may help you better understand your symptoms and design a personalized program to help alleviate your pelvic discomfort or pain...